Posted by live_for_purpose on September 30, 2008 at 1:51 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I think parents are very naive or else just don't care. Kids get smashed and high and where are the parents? Be responsible! This sounds like a good program with potential.

Posted by 3wld1s on September 30, 2008 at 7:01 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Yes maybe some parents are but there are parents out there that truly do believe that their kids are at a friends house not knowing that they are really going to these parties getting wasted. A lot of these kids go drinking in the parks,or go drinking at older ( out of school ) friends homes. I think this is a great program but i would just like to know why it is not happening all throughout Ventura county and other counties.

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 7:13 a.m. (Suggest removal)

3wld1s- good point. This sounds like a great program and it should be implemented at every high school in the County. If a parent can't be bothered to attend a 90 minute workshop, then they aren't much of a parent.

Posted by 2wheelsguy on September 30, 2008 at 7:15 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Seems like a waste of tax dollars to me.

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 7:50 a.m. (Suggest removal)

2wheelguy- you must have read the wrong story or posted here for a different story. A waste of Tax money? Pleeeaassee. Do you have kid's??

Posted by opi on September 30, 2008 at 8:03 a.m. (Suggest removal)

maybe I will have a "workshop" this weekend on teaching teenagers to stand up for their "right to party"

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 8:09 a.m. (Suggest removal)

This will not change much, there is not anything to do in the ventura county. As students get older they become more and more bored. This area has A LOT of money flying around and nothing to do with it.. what do you think is going to happen?

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 8:18 a.m. (Suggest removal)

opi; until a person becomes of legal age, they don't have rights! If your teenager breaks the law or damages property you are responsible as the parent of the child. It's thinking like yours that is the problem. Teenagers don't have a "Right" to party! Get real!

Posted by hotwildflower on September 30, 2008 at 8:33 a.m. (Suggest removal)

How are they getting the alcohol? (ok, I know their parents liquor cabinets)

Do the parents not smell it on them when they get home?

I don't know about these parents, but I actually make sure there is an adult present when I drop my son off at someone's house.

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 8:36 a.m. (Suggest removal)

hotwildflower you are naive. Eventually you arent going to be dropping your children off and thats when they will start.

Posted by hotwildflower on September 30, 2008 at 8:39 a.m. (Suggest removal)

You're right, Birthmark, I am naive....how many teens do you have? How many kids have you raised?

A little self respect goes a LONG LONG way!

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 8:45 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I actually apologize after reading my post a second time that was uncalled for.. But you people really frustrate me. Simply talking to the police and them sending you letters is not going to change ANYTHING. Have you forgotten your teenage years?

Posted by rebel123 on September 30, 2008 at 8:55 a.m. (Suggest removal)

The excuse of there's nothing to do is baloney. Great thinking..."I'm bored so I think I'll go get smashed". I raised two kids in Ojai which has a horrible teen drinking problem and never had either of them come home drunk. I frankly disagree that this will not change anything. If nothing else, parents of these kids will no longer be able to turn a blind eye and can then be held responsible for the behavior of their kids. When I recently asked my kids what kept them out of the drunken party scene, they both said the same thing. First, they knew the wrath that would have come down on them if they'd have been found drinking, and second, they said they knew that I would have been horribly disappointed in them and they didn't want to lose my respect. I was also involved in every aspect of their lives as a volunteer for sports, music, clubs, whatever. It's very difficult for kids to hide stuff when mom and dad know all their friends and all the parents of their friends. I was also never shy about letting parents who sponsored drinking parties know that I was NOT on board with that and would call the cops if I knew they were providing under aged kids with alcohol. I may not have been the most popular mom on campus at times but my kids are both alive today and fully functioning, college educated, employed adults. This law will give parents one more tool to keep their kids out of trouble.

Posted by hotwildflower on September 30, 2008 at 8:57 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Excellent job, Rebel123!

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 9:05 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Well im glad your "wrath" kept your kids in line. There obviously is going to be some kids that dont drink, I am looking at the whole picture.. Little Jimmys Mom and Dad are working late, He is hanging around Newbury Park and Thousand Oaks. Its a friday night and they have been staring at the wall for 3 hours they dont have to be home for 4 or 5 hours. One of there friends brings some beer over.. THEY ARE GOING TO DRINK!

Posted by mal1910 on September 30, 2008 at 9:13 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I think that the excuse that there is nothing to do is completely idiotic.
I grew up in a town where there was NOTHING...I mean, absolutely nothing to do but sit in the orange fields or a taco bell parking lot and drink. If only I had grown up in Ventura County where there was a beach and good weather!

My parents were very open with me, set a good example (my mother RARELY drank), and in order for me to do anything outside of school...my hw had to be done, I worked after school and on the weekends for what I wanted and to save for a car.

They talked to me. They asked about my friends, had them come over instead of us going out, and they made it fun. We swam, rented movies, played games, and yes...sometimes we got into a little trouble.

If I wanted to go somewhere, there was a strict curfew. I had to come home after the dances. My parents drove me there and picked me up (until they trusted me to drive). They knew my friends and there parents. They were INVOLVED.

My dad drank a lot, and for as long as I remember my mom pointed out what alcohol can do to you. She always stressed how stupid my dad and uncles acted when they drank.

It may not work for every child, but I know from experience that being involved in your children's lives is incredibly important.

Oh, and I knew that if I did something wrong how much trouble I would get into. My parents never said "don't do it again". There were serious consequences, no slaps on the wrist.

Posted by opi on September 30, 2008 at 9:14 a.m.

(This thread was removed by the site staff.)

Posted by mal1910 on September 30, 2008 at 9:17 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I should add my dad drank a lot COMPARED to my mother. He was not a drunk, that sounded bad on my part.

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 9:22 a.m. (Suggest removal)

THANK YOU OPI! This is just for anal parents to feel like they have power where they do not. You simply cannot control every aspect of thier childhood.. And if they do DECIDE to drink that does not make them bad kids.. For gods sake look at the drinking age in european countries, they are exposed to drinking at an early age and it does not kill them.

Posted by hotwildflower on September 30, 2008 at 9:24 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Birthmark, you never answered how many kids you have raised or how many teens (or even children) you currently have?

Posted by hotwildflower on September 30, 2008 at 9:29 a.m. (Suggest removal)

(crickets)

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 9:30 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I have no kids of my own, but I am the legal gurdian of my little brother. I am in NO WAY supporting underage drinking.. I just simply know more about this. I am still a young man, It wasnt too long ago I was in your kids shoes. I grew up in the conejo valley my whole life! I am well aware of what goes on here, and the answer is not just talking to your kids and using your "wrath" eventually they will think on thier own.

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 9:33 a.m. (Suggest removal)

(crickets)? I apologize for taking awhile to respond as I am at work.

Posted by Amazon on September 30, 2008 at 9:33 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Jay and Birthmark, just be glad you weren't raised in my generation where there really was "nothing to do". This was in the 80's---no Borders or Barnes and Noble; no Internet; no computers (well, there were computers but no one really had them and they were not like the ones today); no Ipods, no Apple store, no Tivo, no youtube or myspace, etc etc. Can you imagine?!!!!
But you know what? We survived. We found things to do---we went to the beach, we went hiking in the Santa Monica Mountains and played sports, we hung out at the Oaks Mall and went to amusement parks, we did hobbies, etc. And most of us didn't drink or do drugs! Yet it's the same nonsense story from kids in every generation, including my own: "If other people provide us with things to do and more things to keep us occupied, then we won't feel tempted to party". I remember growing up in Thousand Oaks and people saying there should be a teen center and that will solve the problem---When the teen center in Thousand Oaks opened, it didn't solve the problem because most teens didn't go!
Your generation has everything to your avail yet you still use this same tired excuse! Seriously, what else can be provided to you to fill your lives up so you won't drink or do drugs?

Posted by hotwildflower on September 30, 2008 at 9:38 a.m. (Suggest removal)

See, it's so easy to judge a parent when you haven't gone through the highs and lows with your children. To hurt so deeply when they are hurting and to be on top of the world when they are happy.

You have no children, yet you feel you are qualified to comment on parenting. The fact that you are the legal guardian of your brother either means that you didn't have a very good role model yourself or you lost your parents...still, doesn't give you the right to insult other parents for their parenting style, especially when it worked for them and they have productive members of society.

Posted by lilmamma on September 30, 2008 at 9:39 a.m. (Suggest removal)

The parents are being educated about under-aged drinking.Are they sending the letter to local markets and retail stores who get busted time and time again for selling alcohol to minors? Ventura County is an old peoples area and there isn't anything to do here but drink, do drugs, and have...! That's why you see druggies and teen parents. Teens will always find a way to do what you don't want them to do because they they are invincible and nothing will happen to them.

Posted by JohnGC on September 30, 2008 at 9:39 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I think the letter idea is okay; it can be improved by handing the letter to the parents when they come to bail out their loaded kids.

Posted by dfilerman on September 30, 2008 at 9:58 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I normally do not put in my 2 cents, but on this one I have to. I know that the bottom line is the parents are responsible for their teens. My neighbor, a single mom (husband took off) with 4 children and 1 grandchild. She is an amazing woman, who works very hard to support all and does everything she can to show her kids the right way. 3 of her 4 children are fine and on the right path. But her 15 yr old son is in MAJOR trouble. He has fallen into the "gang" world, drugs, & drinking. He has now become violent to his entire family and my friend is @ a loss. Last year he broke in to my home and after being caught by me, returned all items and because I love his family and know they are going through enough I did not press charges. God I wish I had maybe getting arrested a year ago would had helped. Last week we had to call the police because he was drunk & fighting with his brother. The kid blew 2 times over the legal limit and had been smoking pot. The Mom BEGGED the police to just take him in as he was a minor and had been somewhere drinking. The police could not arrest him because he was now home. Keep in mind he had assaulted his brother, mother and was going after his younger brother. This mom really needed the police’s help and they stated their was nothing they could do, even after being called back to the home 2 times the same night for the same problem. If the police want to help maybe they should help the parents that have made a very tough decision to have their child taken in for being drunk & under the influence. I welcome any thoughts.

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 9:58 a.m. (Suggest removal)

highs and lows with your children? Please you dont know what I have and havent been threw with my brother. My father was a damn good role model who busted his a** for us. He NEVER drank. Like I said earlier, It hasnt been that long since I was a teen and I know, I KNOW what is going on out there and all the D.A.R.E. all the talks at school mean nothing once you hit a certain age. You get curious and you try drinking or smoking pot. Its human nature. I told my brother I dont want him drinking that he shouldait a few years. I hope my faith is enough but it most likely is not. So when he does try it he I know he will call me to pick him up

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 10:03 a.m. (Suggest removal)

*when he does try it I know he will call me to pick him up.

Posted by oxnard40 on September 30, 2008 at 10:05 a.m. (Suggest removal)

YouTube, MySpace, Text/Pics Msgs, and now a letter home to your parents if you're at a drinking party.

Man, I'm glad I grew up in the 80's.

If our parents had the all this at their disposal back in the day. We would have been in SOOO much trouble.

Posted by hotwildflower on September 30, 2008 at 10:11 a.m. (Suggest removal)

It's obvious it hasn't been that long since you were a teen. If I were guessing I would figure you were about 19-20.

You've already set your self up to fail. You hope your faith is enough, but most likely isn't. Not very sure of yourself, huh?

I don't know what you have been through with your brother, but you also don't know what these parents have been through with their children and you are judging their parenting.

Take a step back and realize it's a two way street. You want to be heard and respected, then you need to listen to them and respect what they have acoomplished as parents.

Posted by BeaHappi on September 30, 2008 at 10:16 a.m. (Suggest removal)

oxnard40...no kidding! I grew up in the 70's. Keg parties galore! At Arnold Road beach, in the Santa Clara river bed, at someone's house. It was ridiculous! Thing was, most of us didn't have cars so we had to walk everywhere. And honestly, I got sick everytime that I drank so I wasn't that into it.

But it is a much different world today and just because I went to parties and drank keg beer and slow-gin fizzes doesn't mean that I want my kids to.

I think it's really important for parents to example responsible drinking and to stay involved with their kids. Mine are still young, so I don't have these worries yet. I'm not going to say that my kids would never do this or that because you just don't know what life will toss you.

But I'll tell you this, my husband and I will always be involved with our kids, their friends, activities, etc. Of course we can't be everywhere with them but my hope is that we will have given them the tools to make good decisions.

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 10:20 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Im 22. The courts would not leave my brother with me if I was 19. Im saying there needs to be change, instead of using your "wrath" (I still think thats funny as hell) see things from thier point of view as well.. And Im not setting myself up for failure I just know that they are still humans and they make thier own decisons. So instead of scare tactics and sheltering them be honest, they are teenagers not 5 year olds.

Posted by BeaHappi on September 30, 2008 at 10:29 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Never underestimate the power of wrath.

In a perfect world we'd love for our kids to make the right decisions because we've instilled amazing wisdom and judgement in them.

But I'd be okay too if they made the right decision because they knew that if we found out there would be h*ll to pay.

Posted by hotwildflower on September 30, 2008 at 10:32 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Careful, Bea. Your parenting will be called into question by a childless 22 year old.

If I only knew half as much as I did when I was 22....sighh!

Posted by BeaHappi on September 30, 2008 at 10:34 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Idealism definitely morphs into realism as we get older.

Posted by JMFanClubPrez on September 30, 2008 at 10:37 a.m. (Suggest removal)

hotwildflower, what is your problem today? you know this kid who is manning up to raise a kid? you might need a shorter horse...

Posted by brwnoso on September 30, 2008 at 10:39 a.m. (Suggest removal)

A lot of these youngsters even post there pictures on myspace, when their all drunk or when there smoking some maryjane.

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 10:43 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Yes use your "wrath" so if your child does make the decison to drink, He or she will be to afraid to call you for help

Posted by hotwildflower on September 30, 2008 at 10:47 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I haven't even mentioned my philosohy on parenting...I am defending the parents that have RAISED their children to be productive and are being insulted for the way they chose to raise their children.

I am not worried about my children ever fearing to call me about anything. We have VERY open lines of comminucation.

As for manning up to help raise a kid...good for him, that is impressive, but does it give him the right to insult others parenting?

As I said, it's a two way street...he wants respect but isn't giving it.

Posted by BeaHappi on September 30, 2008 at 10:50 a.m. (Suggest removal)

birthmark...you're missing my point. I'm not saying that's the only way to parent. Growing up I distinctly remember times where the one thing that kept me from making a bad decision was knowing that 1) my mom would find out and 2) when she did I would catch heck.

We had a great relationship and my sisters and I talked to her about most things.

Of course my hope for my kids is that when faced with getting into a car when everyone had been dinking that they would call us for a ride.

Again, my kids are young so I'm not there yet. I do pray about it now though!

Posted by BeaHappi on September 30, 2008 at 10:51 a.m. (Suggest removal)

"drinking" not dinking!

Posted by keepermel on September 30, 2008 at 11:04 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I have a freshman and she tries to tell me all the time that I need to let her make her own mistakes. The problem is in todays day and age, a first time mistake can kill you. I am not my childs best friend, I am her mother! It is my job to keep her safe and alive to get to the age where she can use a developed brain to think things through and make her own choices. I do not make every decision for her and I do not try and turn her into a little me. I respect her because she has earned it but she has trouble understanding that I do not trust everyone out there. She says she is strong and can take care of herself....she is 13! I need all the help I can get to battle off the peir presure she is hit with everyday...if the police can help at all in the form of a letter...bring it on.

Posted by BabyzDaddy_01 on September 30, 2008 at 11:05 a.m. (Suggest removal)

birthmark...you need more years under your belt buddy. The bond is QUITE different between brothers than it is between parents and their children. You won't "get" that until you have your own.

As for the wrath...wrath may be too harsh...I personally believe that tons of involvement in the early developmental years in a child's life will make it easier to show them how to make good decisions. How to be logical, differentiate between what's "right" and what's "wrong". Teenagers are physiologically unable to differentiate this on their own. Parents NEED to be highly involved or they will lose their kids during these years to outside influences (friends mostly). However, with that said, a parent that IS highly involved KNOWS what kind of influences their kids have.....keeps their own kids busy with activities (sports, clubs, hobbies). Yes, birthmark, the temptation will be there...but if a kid is taught to decipher situations to deem actions "right" or "wrong" thru the help of their supporting parents...they'll CHOOSE to not drink. Most drink out of curiosity or due to peer-pressure as it is. A confident kid does not succumb to peer-pressure as he/she realizes that those doing the pressuring are merely trying to justify their own actions that they KNOW is "wrong"...but can't yet process it.

Posted by MyNameIsOffensive on September 30, 2008 at 11:12 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Sounds like a great idea to me.

Posted by Amazon on September 30, 2008 at 11:39 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Great post mal1910!

Posted by getreal on September 30, 2008 at 11:46 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Kids are going to go to parties and drink no matter how strict or involved parents are. Any parent that says otherwise are lying to themselves. They may not get plastered drunk but I'm sure a lot more experimenting is going on than is admitted. I'm not saying its right I'm just speaking the truth. I had very involved, strict parents. I was involved in sports and got straight A's. There were times I didn't always walk the straight and narrow. Letters to home? Who's to say those letters won't vanish form the mail box before mom reads them. Kids need to feel comforatble enough to clal their parents for a ride rather than drive after they have experimented. You cna punish them in the morning for their poor choice to drink but being able to call home is better than the alternative.

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 11:58 a.m. (Suggest removal)

opi- I have raised three children who are now 28, 24, and 22. They were never in trouble, never drunk, and are now responsible adults. I guess this gives me the RIGHT to voice my opinion. I must have done something right, granted a lot of the credit goes to my wife and their Mother! So sit down and be quite!

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 12:04 p.m. (Suggest removal)

"The bond is QUITE different between brothers than it is between parents and their children."
Yes it USUALLY is, but in my case im whatever he needs me to be and sometimes that means being a parent.

Posted by opi on September 30, 2008 at 12:05 p.m. (Suggest removal)

This Is really not about children drinking at all, it is all about parents feeling good, it is all about you guys telling each other what great parents you are.

I grew up in Thousand Oaks in the 60's and 70's, the kids that seemed to be perfect, that never were in trouble or had any strife in their lives, never took a drink, drug or tobacco, had their parents planning their every move, the ones that never had a chance to get it out of their system. Appear to be the ones that turned out the worst.

I still live in T.O. and I run into some of them occasionally, I see them walking to their camps down in the Conejo Creek or hanging out in front of supermarket's. it use to shock me, I thought it could not be, not that guy or not her, I thought I was the bad kid.

No matter how much you care, how much you do, some people are just meant to be alcoholics , junkies, schizophrenic. Some people will grow out of it, some won't. All of your feel good slogans and workshops will not change a thing.

Love your children, be involved in their lives, talk to them, hang out with them, cut them some slack and let them make mistakes and learn, have a drink with them and forget the ridiculous slogans and programs.

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 12:10 p.m. (Suggest removal)

My kids were afraid of the "wrath" of their father, but they also knew that wrath only came into play when they were making errors in judgement. They always knew I loved them and that I did things out of love not anger. A lot of parents are parents biologically only. They don't take the time to show the right and wrongs of life. I have to give Hotwildflower some credit. Through her post it seems to me that she is a caring and nurturing parent, so you might want to listen up birthmark!

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 12:17 p.m. (Suggest removal)

opi- How many kids do you have? Have a drink with them? What are you saying? It's alright to drink as long as you drink with me? Have your kids( if any) ever been in trouble? If they have, I'll bet I can explain why! I grew up in the 60s and 70s also, I never had a drink until I was in Vietnam and I wish I didn't then!

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 12:18 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Save it please. Everyone is telling your kids what to do, not just you. Teachers drill it into them at an early age, they have to take D.A.R.E., T.V. ads show the dangers of drinking and driving. And on top of that your teaching them whats right and wrong (as you should be) and it still happens.. Something is obviously not working.

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 12:25 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Oh to be 22 again and have all the answers to life!

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 12:29 p.m. (Suggest removal)

The "answers to life" dont necessarily come with age my friend.

Posted by getreal on September 30, 2008 at 12:29 p.m. (Suggest removal)

birthmark might only be 22 but wow~ what a great responsibility to raise a sibling. I'm sure he/she didn't ask for this huge amount of responsibility they just got handed. Cut her some slack for being adult enough to take this on. I'm sure all of you older parents raised perfect humans right? They never disobeyed you or made mistakes because you were older and had all the answers? I think not.

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 12:40 p.m. (Suggest removal)

birthmark- Yes, yes they do! When you get older you will realize this. I will give you the credit of taking the responsibility for being there for you sibling. But when you get older you will find that you get wiser with every year. I have a son your age and although he is a great kid, he is still a kid. Fortunately he knows it! Good luck to you and just try to take friendly advise from those who are older and wiser.

Posted by BeaHappi on September 30, 2008 at 12:45 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Obviously we don't know the details but yes, being named guardian of your sibling is a huge responsibility.

But at 22 you don't know everything because you still have so much left to experience. I'm 46 and I still don't know everything! You never stop learning.

Unfortunately, sometimes the way that you learn those life lessons is to make some really bad decisions...and then have to figure a way out of it.

birthmark - when you're 32 you'll look back to 22 and be amazed at all that you know and also at all that you didn't know at 22.

No one is perfect, especially when it comes to parenting. There truly is no tougher job. And there is no job that is more rewarding. We all just need to do the best that we can to raise good, kind, decent human beings.

And to help each other as we parent...not tear each other down.

Posted by opi on September 30, 2008 at 12:50 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Maybe "Thinkbeforeyoupost" should follow your own slogan like alias. Who do you think you are the " Arbiter of the Star Grand Debate"?

What is up with people who can't debate throwing up the hand in the face. Putting limitations ( how many children do you have?) or ( how old are you?)

It sounds to me like maybe you have a problem with alcohol, you claim that your children were never drunk, I don't know how it is possible to know, but if it is true, it might be because they were victims of your drunken "wrath" and took a solemn vow to never take a drink and behave like their pathetic inebriate father.

Posted by BabyzDaddy_01 on September 30, 2008 at 1:19 p.m. (Suggest removal)

opi....you're an idiot. Either that or you never learned to read for comprehension.

birthmark: I give you credit for what you're doing (raising your sibling) take a big person...but the emotion and bond will be evident the day you have your OWN child. Age does make a difference.

For those that say, you do this and that and STILL your kid will drink...that's a nice way of generalizing each parent/child relationship. It's the details involved with the "this and that's" that make the difference between whether your kid will take the drink or CHOOSE not to. Once again, it's MUCH easier to simply accept the generalization...unfortunately, some parents take the easy road too which leaves their kids open to bad influences.

Posted by hotwildflower on September 30, 2008 at 1:21 p.m. (Suggest removal)

The ones arguing about parents being too strict are the ones who have no children and think they know it all about parenting.

I have two kids, we are very open and honest in our home about everything from alcohol, drugs and sex. They are not sheltered by any means, we believe knowledge is power. I am a stict parent but my husband and I also have ALOT of fun with our kids and we have VERY high expectations for our children because we know they are capable of it. Children will give you what you expect of them, if you expect them to fail they will. That isn't to say our children won't stumble along the way and yes, they know without a doubt, I will be there to catch them any day of the week, but if given the right tools in life, they will make the right choices!

Don't set them up to fail because they won't let you down.

Again, children can't be raised on auto-pilot, you MUST be involved and TALK to your kids.

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 1:30 p.m. (Suggest removal)

opi- I don't drink! Vietnam taught me that alcohol is not the answer. You still didn't answer my question in regard to how many children you have. All you did was to throw out childish name calling, which would tell me that one of us is immature and possibly has a drinking problem, and as I said, "I don't drink"! Oh yes, in regards to your statement," This isn't about kids drinking, It's about parents wanting to feel good about themselves". What article did you read? The article, and this post has EVERYTHING to do with underage drinking and the steps that T.O. police are taking to resolve the problem. You do however have the right to your opinion. Even if that opinion is flawed.

Posted by handyhood on September 30, 2008 at 1:39 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I have to agree with babyzdaddy_1 - opi, you are an idiot!

Posted by mal1910 on September 30, 2008 at 2:06 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Thanks Amazon!

Posted by opi on September 30, 2008 at 2:38 p.m. (Suggest removal)

So...... we are back to the requirements that to have a valid argument we must provide the demanders with our age and number of children.

What if I said I had 6 or 2? What if I said I was 24? or 50? What is the difference? How do I know if you really have a family.

I apologize for the " pathetic Inebriate" crack, I was trying to make the point that many children of alcoholics never take a drink because they don't want to be like their parents.

No one's opinion is flawed, it is just an opinion.

The T.O. Police are not trying to resolve anything, they will not lift a finger unless they benefit in some way, how much do you want to bet that there is a grant for the Police department involved?

Posted by mal1910 on September 30, 2008 at 2:50 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I used to hate my parents for being strict and I felt like they didn't trust me and I had a so-called "leash". Now I look at how my cousins are being raised, with hardly any parental supervision, no consequences...and a "don't ask, don't tell" mentality and I only hope to be as good as the parents I was raised by.

I am also 22 years old with A LOT to learn. One thing I have learned is that my mom was right about more than I am willing to admit.

Don't give up on your kids!!!

Posted by hotwildflower on September 30, 2008 at 2:57 p.m. (Suggest removal)

mal1910, I am sure your mom is very proud as she should be.

Posted by BeaHappi on September 30, 2008 at 3 p.m. (Suggest removal)

mal1910...how nice that you're only 22 and you already realize the favor that your parents did you in being strict.

That says a lot about your character.

And BTW, what is your mom's phone number? As my kids get older I'm sure I'll need some tips! :~)

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 3 p.m. (Suggest removal)

opi; Unless you have had experience in raising children, any argument you have concerning this post is moot. This is why I asked if you have any children. Since you have steadfastly refuse to answer my query, I can only assume that you have no child raising experience. To this I can only say, shut up and sit down, no offense intended. To mal1910; well said! You are already on the road to wisdom!

Posted by smithjc on September 30, 2008 at 3:07 p.m. (Suggest removal)

i admire the fact that vso is trying to do something about this teen drinking thing, but rather than send a letter to the parents, why aren't they being required to go to the party, pick up the child and receive the minor's citation for violations of various laws.

if the parent refuses to come take custody, they can be prosecuted also.

Posted by byteme on September 30, 2008 at 3:10 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Getreal…I am with you on that one!! My parents were the greatest. My dad worked while my, mom stayed home and raised us. We had dinner together, played together and went to church every Sunday. My parents did their best in raising m e and were very protective and strict but when I was young, I did things that I am not so proud of and my mom thought I was innocent. My point is, even if you come from proactive parents, kids can and will still stray.

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 3:11 p.m. (Suggest removal)

smithjc; That is something that is worth thinking about. I'm all for it. MAKE the parent be responsible!

Posted by birthmark on September 30, 2008 at 4:04 p.m. (Suggest removal)

So getting your child on record with alcohol is the answer? from that point on whatever "officer" that busted your kid will stop and hastle him\her whenever he sees them on the street.. sounds great.

Posted by mal1910 on September 30, 2008 at 4:09 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Thinkbeforeyoupost, hotwildflower and BeaHappi,

Thank you! From reading your posts from this article and others, you all seem like awesome parents. I'm sure your kids will be just fine :)

I talked to my mom and thanked her and I think I made her day! She said that she cannot take full credit for her parenting because your kids are influenced by teachers, babysitters, other family, etc. She said that she made sure to put me around people that were positive influences.

Thanks again!

Posted by dom_kenpo on September 30, 2008 at 4:47 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Who is gonna pay for the postage and the letters? There better not be additional tax on my hooch!

Posted by opi on September 30, 2008 at 5:07 p.m. (Suggest removal)

just went out for awhile and noticed the re-elect Jacqui Irwin posters around town.

Pathetic politics even by Thousand Oaks City Council Standards.

Posted by 2wheelsguy on September 30, 2008 at 9:16 p.m. (Suggest removal)

thinkbeforeyoupost,

My status as a parent is irrelevant to the fact that this is a waste of taxpayer dollars. It won't stop teen drinking and will consume police resources on nonsense. Anyone who thinks otherwise is naive.

Posted by mguzman on September 30, 2008 at 10:18 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Well, I dont know about the rest of you, but I am a single father of two girls 8 and 10. They are doing very well at school and I receive nothing but positive feedback from their teachers. However, my girls are getting smart and trying to pull fast ones on dad. Did you clean your room? (yes), check under the bed, all the trash is there. Did you do your homework? (yes) check work, math not complete.. Personally, I am scared that my children can try and pull a fast one on me now and will try the same when they are teens and involve alcohol, sex, drugs, etc.. I keep my kids in a tight leash, but can not be there 24/7.

For those of you who have kids, please advise,

Posted by Thinkbeforeyoupost on September 30, 2008 at 11 p.m. (Suggest removal)

2wheelsguy; Where in this article do you read what the cost will be? Maybe only the parents of the children involved will be footing the bill. It doesn't say. Are you a mind reader? Do you have information that wasn't given in the article? Being a parent IS REVELENT! If you were a parent you could see the reason to be concerned about under aged drinking! Why don't you put two more wheels down? The ride is much better!
mguzman; Your kids are normal, and at that age they are doing the normal kid thing. All you can do is stay on top of it and convince them that they can't fool Dad! It is a lot of work, but the rewards are way to many to list.
So many post from the non parent who don't have a clue. When I was young I said I would never do the things that my parents did. When I got older and had children, I totally understood my Mom and Dad and I am proud to be just like them. I hope my three are realizing the same thing about me now that they are grown.

Posted by carefulnow on September 30, 2008 at 11:24 p.m. (Suggest removal)

mguzman - Here's my advice. Install healthy doses of guilt in them for trying to fool you. Tell them that they know when they've done wrong and that they can't hide from that even if they get away with fooling you. Also tell them that the easiest person to fool is oneself. Good luck! They're lucky to have a dad who cares.

Sadly, I don't think these letters home are going to do much if mom and dad are too busy with their own lives. And who is going to pay for these police resources? Don't bet on the kids' parents paying for it all.

Posted by 2wheelsguy on October 1, 2008 at 7:26 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Thinkbeforeyoupost,

Try reading before you post. I am a parent, but that's not relevant to whether police sending letters to parents will impact teen drinking. It won't. If you think that asking police to send hundreds of letters to parents will not be costly, you are indeed naive and stupid. And, for your information, the word is "relevant," not "REVELENT." Let's hope you're leaving the academics to your kids' teachers and not doing any home schooling.