Whether you sip with pinkies out or primly tucked in, there's nothing like a cup of tea and a teensy-weensy finger sandwich to make one feel civilized.

That's important in a world gone mad with cocktails inspired by the upcoming "Sex and the City" movie. Meeting for afternoon tea is one way to spend quality time with The Girls that doesn't involve ordering a round of Cosmopolitans.

So here are five places — one of them a rose farm, another a hidden gem of a tea shop — in and around Ventura County where you can find tea that goes above and beyond the stuff that comes in a bag. As a bonus, you'll also find information about a June 5 tea tasting in Santa Barbara:

In the Woolworth Building in downtown Oxnard, Fresh & Fabulous Café Bakery (212 W. Fourth St., 486-4547) offers tea service by reservation only, from 10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturdays. That's when cafe owner Magda Weydt pulls out all the stops, and the china.Her "full tea" includes assorted tea sandwiches, a slice of quiche with salad, a scone with lemon curd, tea cookies and a pot of tea ($16.95). Also available is a "light" tea, which skips the quiche and side salad ($12.95). While you're there, be sure to check out the vintage hand-lotion dispenser in the ladies' room.

Rose Story Farm in Carpinteria (566-4885 or http//www.rosestoryfarm.com) is a working rose farm and special-occasions location (think weddings) that also schedules by-reservation-only tours of the premises from April through the end of November.

Tours at 11:30 a.m. Wednesdays and 11 a.m. Saturdays ($38) conclude with an afternoon-tea-style picnic in a garden shaded by umbrella tables. Starting this very weekend, an "Executive Rose Garden Tour" also will be available on the last Saturday of the month. Don't miss the gift shop, which is stocked with rose-scented creams and antique silver teapots.

Tea by the Sea, located in Studio 37 of the Bell Arts Factory in Ventura (432 N. Ventura Ave., 804-6637 or http://www.tbythesea.com), does not have a commercial kitchen on the premises, so Tea by the Sea owner Cindy Yoshitomi is not able to offer on-site tastings of her exotic teas. (Check her Web site for a schedule of off-site classes and tastings.) But her shop, located in a remodeled house that adjoins the mattress factory turned artists' enclave, is packed with senchas from Japan, oolongs from Taiwan and yerba matés from Argentina — and the pots, cups and strainers to make them in.

Drop by and linger on the wrap-around porch during regular retail hours from 1 to 5 p.m. Tuesdays through Thursdays. Otherwise, call ahead.

At Vesta Home & Hearth in the Ojai Arcade (242 E. Ojai Ave., 646-2339 or http://www.vestaojai.com), your order of tea, bite-size lemon bars and made-on-the-premises ahi poke tuna with plantain chips could very well come with a star sighting on the side: Barbra Streisand was a frequent customer back when this place was still known as Tottenham Court.

Most of TC's Victoriana has been removed in favor of a more Mediterranean atmosphere, but the indoor tea room still has its painted "views" of Buckingham Palace and St. Paul's Cathedral. Tea also is served on the back patio.

Tucked near the back of El Jardin Courtyard, a small, outdoor shopping "mall" built in Ventura in the mid-1920s, Zoey's Cafe (451 E. Main St., 652-1137 or http://www.zoeyscafe.com) turns into a tea room whenever someone orders "Hi Tea!" The result: a tray laden with sweets, savories (or a little of both) paired with a pot of tea ($12.95).

Tea selections include chai, jasmine, peppermint-vanilla cream, Earl Grey and Formosa Gun Powder.

Hi Tea! is available in both the cafe and the coffee loft (with ivy-covered balcony) upstairs. Heartier appetites have the option of ordering a sandwich called The Hog Wild.

Finally, David DeCandia, the Camarillo-based production manager and tea buyer for Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, will discuss the history of tea, tea blending and the best ways to brew and serve tea during sessions at 5:30, 6:30 and 7:30 p.m. June 5 at Casa de la Guerra Historic House Museum, 15 E. De la Guerra St., Santa Barbara. For more information about the free event, call 965-0093.

WHAT'S NEW IN OLD TOWN CAMARILLO: The old Palermo sign was still in place Tuesday morning, but owner Zach Bancroft hopes to have the coffee house at 2364 Ventura Blvd. (482-3433) transformed into its new incarnation, Element Coffee, by 7 a.m. Friday. That's the start of grand-opening festivities heralding the switch to organic, free-trade coffees and teas and the addition of natural sweeteners such as agave nectar and vanilla syrup. Free drinks will be offered Friday and Saturday, and live music will be part of the celebration from 6 to 10 p.m. Saturday. Meanwhile, signs and construction workers announce the impending arrival of Panini Place in the 2100 block of Ventura Boulevard.

WINE TIME: The newly expanded wine bistro at The Magical Kitchen in Simi Valley will be the setting at 6:30 p.m. Saturday for Judgment in Simi. Inspired by the 1976 Judgment of Paris, the blind tasting will compare wines from France and California. Reservations, $60: 527-3000.

Sip for a good cause when the 15th annual Casa Pacifica Angels Wine & Food Festival takes place noon to 5 p.m. Sunday at CSU Channel Islands in Camarillo. Tickets are $75 in advance and $90 at the gate. Info: http://www.cpwineandfoodfestival.com.

IN REVIEW: For restaurant critic Rita Moran's thoughts on Vivoli Cafe and Trattoria in Thousand Oaks, see Time Out in Thursday's edition of the Star.

—E-mail Lisa McKinnon at lmckinnon@VenturaCountyStar.com.