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Mother serving jail time gets visit by son
Photos by Jason Redmond / Star staff Jennifer Stinson reads to her son, Matthew, during his visit from Fresno to the Ventura Youth Correctional Facility on Friday. A volunteer recorded Stinson's voice so Matthew could play it at home.
Jennifer Stinson, right, says goodbye to her mother, Gena Henry, who brought Stinson's son, Matthew, to Camarillo for a Mother's Day visit.
Photos by Jason Redmond / Star staff Matthew chases his mom, Jennifer Stinson, at the Ventura Youth Correctional Facility in Camarillo on Friday. The facility hosted a party, but only one family showed up.
STORY TOOLS 
More from County NewsThe eager moms pulled their hair into neat pony tails, borrowed their favorite blue eye shadow and ironed the only clothes they own as they primped for a visit from their young children.
Since the last time they saw their sons or daughters a year ago, some of the kids have learned to walk and speak and read.
Many of the waiting moms were little more than kids themselves, barely adults who have experienced a lifetime's worth of court dates, drugs and crime.
But for these few hours, when the wards of the Ventura Youth Correctional Facility get a Mother's Day visit from their children, that all melts away.
"It's the best thing to happen in jail, to see your kids," a 23-year-old woman said as she waited for her 14-month-old baby.
"I can still smell her on my sweatshirt when I go to bed."
And she waited and waited and waited.
Of the seven moms that were expecting to see their children Friday, only one family showed up at the Camarillo facility that took part in Get on the Bus, a statewide program that unites prisoners with their children. Some moms went back to their cells crying, others hoped that maybe their families would come Sunday, the real Mother's Day.
Assistant Superintendent Cynthia Brown said female prisoners often have a harder time than men when it comes to maintaining relationships during incarceration. Father's Day is always more crowded than Mother's Day, she said. It could be the stigma of women in jail or too many burned bridges, or any number of factors, she said.
Still, the facility's staff was ready for a party. Streamers were strung, heart-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were laid out and free toys for the kids lined the visiting room where music was playing.
Jennifer Stinson, a 19-year-old from Fresno who got tangled up with methamphetamine and is now serving a sentence for grand theft auto, was the only ward who got to see her child.
It was only the second time she saw Matthew, 3, in the two years she's been locked up. "It's hard on him," said Stinson's mom, Gena Henry, who is raising Matthew. She took a bus and train from Fresno to see her daughter for the first time in two years.
Henry said without the financial help of Get on the Bus, which paid for her trip, she wouldn't be able to see her daughter.
Stinson and Matthew talk on the phone once a week and Henry said she tries to make sure Matthew knows his mother, though it can be a challenge.
"Sometimes he calls me Mom' but I say, No, I'm your Nana,' " she said. "It's hard because he's so young."
For the first hour of the visit, Matthew and Stinson seemed a bit like strangers trying to get acquainted. He stayed close to his grandmother; Stinson looked at him from afar.
After awhile, she read him "Toy Story" as he sat on her lap and followed along with the pictures.
A volunteer recorded Stinson's voice so Matthew could play it at home. Soon, he was chasing her around the room as she weaved among the empty tables that were supposed to be filled with similar reunions.
She spun him through the air and tossed him onto beanbags, the two laughing the whole time.
"Do it again, Mommy," he squealed, "Do it again."
After more games and lunch, the visit was winding down. Henry and Matthew had to make the long trek back north.
Stinson stroked her mom's arm as tears welled up in each of their eyes.
"Why is Mommy crying?" Matthew asked and the two pulled him close. A soulful Aretha Franklin song beat slowly over the speakers.
"I love you; I'll call you on the phone," Stinson said as her family walked away and she collapsed into a ball of tears.
It may be next year before she sees her boy again.
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Posted by kosmoz13 on May 10, 2008 at 7:44 a.m. (Suggest removal)
that story made me cry. Bless that little guys heart. It must be so hard on him. Bless that Momma heart too, it must be broken.
Posted by lilmamma on May 10, 2008 at 9:44 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Wow Im speechless after reading such a sad story.The children are the victims when we commit crimes but since this babies having babies they are all victims. I hope the young women who didn't see their kids realize that their actions just don't affect them but their whole family. The grandmother who came with her grandson deserves alot of credit for keeping her family together.
Posted by SUNNY on May 10, 2008 at 9:54 a.m. (Suggest removal)
It's a hard, sad story all around!! Drug addiction takes from everyone and more needs to be done as far as treatment and prevention so that these kids and others will have thier mom's in the future.
Posted by JesusMalverde on May 10, 2008 at 10:10 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Are you kidding me??? These mothers are not victims, they are the perpetrators. They are the people that have made CHOICES and put their children in the horrible positions that they are in. These children would be better off being adopted into families with parents who will love theme nough not to choose drugs, theft and whatever else these people are in jail for. Where are the fathers?? They are perpetrators too.
This is the problem with our society now. This article sums up why this country is destined for significant social problems for years and years to come if something doesn't change.
Instead of crying for these mothers, why don't you hold them accountable for their actions. If this society actually valued accountability and responsibility instead of placing the victim label on everybody, we would be so much better off.
Posted by SayItLikeItIs on May 10, 2008 at 10:25 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Wow! Hopefully this will be a good lesson learned.
Posted by smithjc on May 10, 2008 at 11:37 a.m. (Suggest removal)
amen, jesus.
Posted by HateMachine on May 10, 2008 at 11:44 a.m. (Suggest removal)
JesusMalverde: these moms are being held accountable for their actions, they are locked up. No where in the article did it state that anyone was a victim, its your interpretation.
We dont need to take babies and give them up for adoption when someone makes a poor choice. We have a 3 strikes rule, and perhaps then adoption may be considered.
This particular mother did not commit murder I think she deserves a second chance. It is easy to sit back and be judge and jury when you dont know the particulars of each individuals case.
I too believe that if you do the crime you should do the time, but I also believe people can change. And what better wake-up call than to be reminded of what is most important your children to be the catalyst of change. It takes something traumatic or significant in order for change to begin, hopefully this young mother will remember how it felt to not be a part of her little boys life for so long to instill in her a strong will and desire to be productive in society, and the mother her little boy deserves.
You are right something needs to change, but it has to start somewhere. Our jails are overcrowded, it seems there is a lack of morals and valules...but this ONE mother is not the stick that broke the camels back.
Posted by JesusMalverde on May 10, 2008 at 1:50 p.m. (Suggest removal)
You didn't see anywhere where there was a victim??? How about starting with the CHILD? You do not think that he is a victim? You do not think he would be better off in a family where he wasn't shuttled back and forth to a jail to see mom? His statistical prospects of ending up right where she is went through the roof the day that she got incarcerated.
By the way, I also saw a mention of a stolen car. Yes there are victims to stolen cars.
I never, EVER said that this woman is teh straw that broke the camel's back. Hardly. She is just the face of the problem plastered in the newspaper. This is not a touching story. This did not bring a tear to my eye for anyone except the child. My heart goes out to him.
My issue was more the comments to this story than the actual story. People sitting around weeping for this poor mother whne she made ths hsoices to land her right where she belongs. Weep for the child who did not get to pick his negligent parents or the lifestyle that he was born in to.
Posted by goldeneye on May 10, 2008 at 1:59 p.m. (Suggest removal)
She will probably be able to return the favor by visiting him in prison one day. Scum raising children leads to big problems for society down the road. Looking at that photo of Stinson's mom, you can't see here well but she looks like she must have had Stinson at an early age. They'll probably be able to track their family tree with prison records about 4 generations and 30 years later.
Posted by Brownpride on May 10, 2008 at 3:05 p.m. (Suggest removal)
The prisoner could be hot with a little tender love and care. I know all the dudes here are thinking the same thing. Whats her number?
Posted by jill on May 10, 2008 at 5:21 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Their families have probably had enough. And jail is no place for a child to be. Poor kids.
Posted by slkrchck on May 10, 2008 at 5:43 p.m. (Suggest removal)
my heart breaks for the boy. i hope she's sorry. this is a good punishment for her and a terrible, unwarranted one for him.
Posted by luvsDC on May 10, 2008 at 9:19 p.m. (Suggest removal)
All the bleeding hearts. The story is a crock of liberal crud...to put it mildly to not get excised.
Barlow, continually does stories that have no place in the newspaper. Why doesn't Barlow report on a kid who has traveled from afar to see his/her non-incarcerated mother?
I have no sympathy for the losers in jail as mentioned, they made choices that got them there.
Hey Mr. Barlow, I've visited a female lockdown before. These people ain't nice. A brawl broke out within ten minutes of my visit. Get a clue sir.
Posted by luvsDC on May 10, 2008 at 9:22 p.m. (Suggest removal)
And look at the sad-sack photojournalist's photographs, all to make the bleeding hearts feel for these misfits. If it weren't so sad, it'd be funny.
Posted by tosell on May 10, 2008 at 9:58 p.m. (Suggest removal)
<i>You do not think he would be better off in a family where he wasn't shuttled back and forth to a jail to see mom? </i>
Actually, no, he wouldn't. Taking children away from their parents is extremely distressing and difficult for the kids. Like it or not, children sometimes have parents who are badly flawed, but they love them away.
It would be nice if we could provide treatment and rehab programs for drug offenders rather than locking them up--especially when they have children.
Posted by bbski707 on May 10, 2008 at 10:02 p.m. (Suggest removal)
It's sad, but I see this and I think of all the mothers in the armed services. In the middle east and they don't even get this for mothers day, and I bet they wish they could have at least 11 of may with there kids. I know I'm a father and I get very little time with my kids because I spend most my year in some other country doing the same thing. I know its my choice, sometimes. I would like to see something like this for someone that defends the Bill of Rights and this country.
Posted by catlover on May 11, 2008 at 9:53 a.m. (Suggest removal)
luvsdc- and what would be your point in punishing the child and not allowing him to see his Mother? At least the system is trying to reunite the families...maybe some will benefit and become better parents. Maybe 1 out of 10 will re-think their poor decisions and not continue the cycle. IF this type of event can help one family, then there is some hope.
It's not a matter of being a bleeding heart, it's a matter of trying to help others. Is that so wrong?
Posted by unclemarty49 on May 11, 2008 at 3:27 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Well, there certainly is a lot of negativity out there.
Most of these comments I have read are not worth responding to, except to say that people who know no more than I do about Jennifer or the circumstances(i.e. her environment while growing up, etc.)should, perhaps,not be so quick to condemn.
This young lady has made some serious mistakes and bad judgement calls in the past, however let's not build the gallows just yet. There is hope for all of us, and any one of us who thinks he is above reproach, is not being realistic in the least.
To tosell, you are so right about treatment & rehab centers. Fortunately, there are places around who address these matters, although, unfortunately, maybe not enough of them to help everyone.The Lighthouse Women's and Children's Mission in Oxnard comes to mind. I have seen many troubled women and girls turn their lives around and become model citizens and real assets to society after going through their recovery program. And the best part is that they can keep their children with them to experience a loving family environment.
Jennifer may have to pay her debt to society, but once that debt is paid, she will have a whole life ahead of her to either turn her life around with a little help from people who really care,or to get "kicked to the curb" by the
judgemental ones who do nothing but lable her scum.
Cat lover, helping others is the right attitude; Thank God for like-minded people with a heart to reach out.
Posted by santabarbarasand on May 12, 2008 at 8:06 a.m. (Suggest removal)
This is a hard one for me because I got pregnant at 16 and became a single mother soon after my son was born. I didn't come from a family that had money and my life was lacking in any kind of support from anyone. It was hard, depressing and I nearly stooped to illegal activities just to survive. The difference between me and women in this story is that I DIDN'T stoop, I worked 2 full time jobs for many years and learned to be frugal and although my life was really hard and my son and I didn't always have enough time together, I stayed out of trouble.
As a mother there needs to always be a voice in the back of your head that reminds you that every single choice you make effects your children. Even more so when the father is not involved! I can only judge based upon my own experiences, dilemmas & choices. It is NOT easy to be a teenaged single mom but that is still no excuse to break the law! It makes me sad to see the moms in jail and the children and family suffering from it and hopefully there are young mothers who read this article and make better choices because of it. If I could do it, anyone can, I don't have much sympathy for the moms and that is because of my own experience.
Posted by JeannetteMedrano on May 14, 2008 at 1:01 p.m. (Suggest removal)
santabarbarasand~~
Ditto! I couldn't of said it bettr myself.
It's called a CHOICE! I am where I am today because of the GOOD choices I made being a teen mom. There were plenty of opportunities for me to stray to the wrong path, but I choose not to. We all have choices, it's just up to us to make them.
Posted by Serenevey on May 15, 2008 at 5:54 a.m. (Suggest removal)
I agree whole-heartedly that not an ounce of pity should go to the mothers who broke the law and put their family into such a horrible position. They deserve every bit of punishment for the pain they're putting the people who love them through. Once I had my daughter (pregnant at 18 and I'm now 21) everything changed from what I could do that would be fun for me to what would be the best for her. Despite the peer pressure as a teenager, I made decisions that I knew wouldn't destroy my future. There is never an excuse regardless of your background. I, myself, came from an abusive, drunk, drug abusing family and I have always been self-sufficient. One of my closest friends killed himself and left me the note when I was just 15. My mother could very well die soon because of the cancer she is fighting. My husband cheated on me in front of my face and left me straggling with no help (financial and otherwise) to speak of. These obstacles should only make a person stronger rather than drive them to destroy the only bit of happiness that may be left for them. A child is something that should raise you from the darkness not drive you to destruction. Be strong and you will be great. Everytime I feel the tears well up in my eyes wondering what the heck I did wrong I look at that little girl and know I did something right because I was strong enough to earn that beautiful smile of hers.
*sigh* I really don't mean to sound so brutal. It's just a touchy subject.
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