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Juan Carlo / Star staff Kristin and Mike Bertrand are moving out of the Newbury Park house they bought seven years ago. The home is now in foreclosure. Frustrated at their inability to find emotional support, they've started a group called Moving Forward.

Chuck Kirman / Star staff Mike and Kristin Bertrand stand with their children, McKaylee 13, and Taylor, 9, outside of the home they're leaving. They have found another to rent.

Dark days haunted Mike and Kristin Bertrand after they learned they were losing their Newbury Park home.

Scared, depressed and embarrassed, they didn't know who to talk to. They didn't know how to tell their children, and they were too ashamed to discuss the situation with friends or family.

The Bertrands had many questions, but had trouble finding answers and knowing who to trust. Once homeowners default on a mortgage loan, the ensuing foreclosure process becomes public record. That's when the housing hawks begin to circle.

Mike Bertrand was skeptical of solicitations from real estate agents, brokers and scam artists, all trying to sell their services to him. At the same time, he hungered for good information.

"We found there's a big lack of information out there," said Bertrand, 36. "It's not like somebody gives you a handbook and says, Here's how to go through foreclosure.' "

Most of all, the Bertrands wanted to talk with other distressed homeowners to know they weren't alone. They found agencies that answered technical questions, but none that dealt with the emotional side of foreclosure.

"It's really easy to feel alone and helpless when you're going through this process," Bertrand said. "That was our darkest moments."

Frustrated by the lack of support, the Bertrands decided to start Moving Forward, a nonprofit, peer-based group that meets every other Friday at St. Matthew's United Methodist Church in Newbury Park. The meetings and services provided are free.

For example, a marriage and family counselor is available to address how to avoid taking out stress on a spouse or children, and how to answer questions children might have. Guest speakers also come in to talk about possible solutions.

"We want to give people information that helps them make better decisions," Bertrand said. "We navigated through this process all on our own."

The Bertrands went into default last June. Three months later, the property went into foreclosure.

At one point, Mike remembers Kristin telling him, "We can't be the only ones feeling this."

Hundreds more each month

They're not. In Ventura County, there were 791 foreclosure filings in March — including default notices, auction sale notices and bank repossessions — according to RealtyTrac. And there were 2,415 filings in the first quarter, up from 1,514 a year ago.

The purpose of Moving Forward is to share ideas, and not to place blame on how it happened, said Kristin Bertrand, 35, adding that the group has been cathartic for her and her husband.

"It doesn't matter how you got here," said Bertrand, a campus supervisor for Banyan Elementary School in Newbury Park. "The point is to help you get through it."

The stigma surrounding foreclosure can be overwhelming for homeowners. They often get criticized for making bad decisions and buying rashly. Many people facing what seems like financial ruin are afraid to come forward, not wanting to hear I told you so' by others who might have warned them about the market crashing.

Even though red flags in the market began surfacing in late 2005, some people probably felt pressured to buy after seeing home values surge in double-digit percentages from year to year. There also was a projection that the median sales price for a Ventura County home would exceed $1 million by 2010.

Caught in the downturn

Kristin and Mike Bertrand say they were not casualties of the mortgage crisis, but of a faltering economy. When the couple purchased a home in 2001, their combined income was more than $140,000. They determined their mortgage, then around $360,000, was affordable.

But they refinanced a few times, taking out equity to pay for bills. It compensated for a reduction in income, tens of thousands of dollars in loan fees and for upgrades.

Mike Bertrand, who builds and markets Web sites, has had job changes and had been out of work since February. He started a new job in mid-April with an annual salary of $62,500 — not nearly enough to afford the $4,200 monthly payment on a new mortgage.

He admitted that if they hadn't refinanced, there is a chance the family could have stayed in the house.

In April, the couple was still talking with Countrywide about arranging a work-out program. But they were declined.

The Bertrands are in the process of moving to another home they leased last week.

The sagging economy, shrinking job market and rising costs for food and gas do not bode well for homeowners struggling to pay their mortgages. And many experts believe the situation will get worse before it gets better because many homeowners have adjustable-rate loans that will be resetting in the next several months.

Group is a needed outlet

Bertha Garcia, homeownership program director of the Cabrillo Economic Development Corp., said Moving Forward is the first peer-based support group for distressed homeowners that she has heard of in Ventura County.

"It has been difficult for us to get families to talk, because nobody wants others to know their situation. They're reluctant to share their story," she said, adding that the group could provide an outlet to help struggling homeowners deal with their emotions.

Moving Forward is "exactly what is needed," said Jack Doman, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Thousand Oaks.

"A peer group is a marvelous way to approach many problems," he said. "You know nobody is there to make a buck, and they're all going through the same things."

In a group setting, there are people at various points along the way toward healing. Those who are newer to the process can take cues from people further down the path, Doman said.

He has noticed that the distressed homeowners he treats are mostly battling anxiety and depression. Doman plans to speak to the Moving Forward group for free on an as-needed basis.

For individual sessions, Doman typically charges $50 an hour. But he accepts Medi-Cal and is willing to charge on a sliding scale for those who cannot afford it.

So far, Moving Forward has had more response from Realtors looking to foster business than from homeowners. A handful of people attended the first meeting in April, but no one showed up to the second meeting. The Bertrands attributed that to a lack of advertising.

Meetings are open to homeowners, not to Realtors, agents, brokers or anyone wanting to sell services. Guest speakers are checked out thoroughly to ensure their intentions are genuine.

"We do not want money from anyone; we are creating a place where people can go and talk about their experiences, and provide information in a safe place," Mike Bertrand said.

Choosing help carefully

Patty Guertler, public relations and education manager for Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Ventura County, recommends that consumers deal only with HUD-approved organizations and nonprofits that exist to help consumers, not to fatten their bottom line.

It's difficult to differentiate who honestly cares about the homeowner and who doesn't, said Todd Kaufman, an investor and chief executive of Alta Community Investment LLC, a Moving Forward guest speaker.

His Westlake Village company buys property from people in default, and gives them a chance to stay and rent their homes. Those who choose to do a short sale have a lease option to buy back their homes at market level after a set time. If the former owner does not wish to buy, Kaufman can sell to a different party.

The rent-back program typically lowers the cost of shelter by 40 to 45 percent, which might allow some families to squirrel away enough savings to buy back their homes, Kaufman said. He's currently in this process with 21 homeowners in Ventura County.

The Bertrands tried to pursue this program, but Kaufman couldn't negotiate a short sale with Countrywide. He then offered to rent a home to the family, who have a pet-packed household, which can be a turnoff to some landlords. The couple began moving into their new home last week.

At support group meetings, Kaufman said he aims to focus on homeowners and their needs, not his company. He said there are options, such as a short sale, loan modification, foreclosure, or a deed in lieu of foreclosure, which means handing the property to the bank.

"There are so many people caught in this," Kaufman said. Through Moving Forward, homeowners can share their experiences, nervousness and fears, while gaining strength and knowledge instead of "hiding from the process," he said.

"These people are generally mired in their own difficulties," Kaufman said. "It's a rare person that can reach out and say, I'm going through it, and I want to help you get through it, too.' "

On the Net:

http://www.wearemovingforward.org