Home › Lifestyle › Lifestyle
Seabees embark on life together in a dream wedding
Fairy tale ending, a new beginning
Download this story as a podcast!
Juan Carlo / Star staff Bridesmaids Natasha Myers, left, and Jena Sudberry watch as Jamie Vilmur and Phillip Yancey kiss during their March 16 wedding ceremony performed by Navy Chaplain Carl Rhoads at the Pierpont Inn in Ventura.
Multimedia: Jamie & Phillip
A Seebee couple's three-year on-again off-again relationship finds solidity when they win a "dream wedding." WATCH NOW »
STORY TOOLS 
More from Lifestyle"Honey, I love you!" Phillip Yancey called out to the woman who would be his wife in less than 30 minutes.
"I love you!" the bride, Jamie Vilmur, answered from behind the dressing room door.
Yancey, 23, grinned, exhaled and smoothed a hand down the front of his latte-colored tuxedo. Bridesmaids in ribboned pink dresses stood in line behind him.
A grandmother gave a final tug on one of the tiny satin gloves worn by a squirming flower girl. The 5-year-old ring bearer stood quietly holding his satin pillow, his tongue green from the handful of Skittles that he had just swallowed.
Yancey and the bridal procession were standing at the door of a cottage at Ventura's Pierpont Inn, preparing to walk through a grassy aisle bisecting a small army of white plastic chairs.
Waiting at the shaded gazebo in front of the chairs was a Navy chaplain with a Bible.
Zipped, buttoned, hooked and laced into her wedding gown, Vilmur tried to breathe steadily as she stood in the cottage bedroom/dressing room, preparing to walk out on her father's arm.
March 16, 2008, had arrived at last.
"I'm excited, worried, the whole gamut," Jamie's mom, Sharon Vilmur, 53, said as tears glistened in her eyes. "Because of everything that's gone on, I'm so excited for them, and so worried."
The spectrum of Sharon Vilmur's emotions sprang from all that has happened to Yancey and her daughter over the past year, and all that is about to happen.
In less than a year, the Seabee couple have weathered everything from the giddy joy of winning a dream wedding to the cold agony of losing a son. The past 11 months also were buffeted with a tour of duty in Iraq, a proposal, a homecoming and another surprise due in July.
A military romance
Vilmur, now 28, and Yancey met in Rota, Spain, in 2004, where both had been stationed. Yancey, a Texas native, was a builder third class. Vilmur, who grew up near Yosemite, was a storekeeper second class. Vilmur enlisted in 2001, Yancey in 2004.
Yancey first made an impression on Vilmur when he stopped by her supply area in search of a new hard hat. When she spotted him a few days later at a local lounge, shy Vilmur asked a friend to introduce them. "Pretty much what I said to her was, He's hot; go talk to him for me,'" Vilmur remembered.
The two hit it off immediately, talking until 2:30 a.m. They dated for 10 months, then broke up after both returned to Naval Air Station Point Mugu.
"I was still in my young going out and partying' thing," Yancey said.
In contrast, Vilmur was more of a homebody. To complicate matters further, she was scheduled for transfer to Japan and Yancey was headed for Texas, then for a tour in Iraq. They stayed in touch, but as friends rather than lovers.
Then, in July 2006, both were transferred back to Point Mugu and the friendship heated up one night into something neither expected. Yancey had come over to watch a movie at Vilmur's home. Neither saw much of the movie.
In November that year, Vilmur was stunned to learn that she was pregnant.
Yancey proposed after learning her condition, but she didn't want him to feel trapped, so she resisted. She didn't want him to marry her out of a sense of obligation.
She loved Yancey, but "I can be a bit stubborn," she said.
Early in 2007, Yancey left for Iraq with plans to return for the birth of their child, who they eventually learned was a boy. They decided to name him Riley.
A terrifying quiet
The pregnancy seemed to be progressing well. Vilmur kept Yancey informed through e-mail, phone calls and electronic chats. Riley was kicking. Riley made her crave chocolate. Riley hiccuped. He was an active little guy due near the end of June.
An amniocentesis confirmed that everything was normal.
Then, on April 18, Vilmur began to bleed. She was given medication to stop the bleeding and told to go home and rest. Four days later, she noticed that Riley didn't seem as active. Or was it her imagination? When had she last felt him kick? Or move?
On April 23, a terrified Vilmur was admitted to the hospital. Try as they might, the nurses and doctors could find no heartbeat with the ultrasound.
Riley had died.
"He died where he should have been the safest," Vilmur said, tears spilling down her cheeks during an interview six months later. "A blood clot had developed in the umbilical cord and he was gone that quick."
Vilmur gave birth to a stillborn Riley Alva Yancey at 11:53 p.m. April 24, 2007. He was 2 pounds 15 ounces.
When a superior officer delivered the news to Yancey in Iraq, Yancey said it felt as if someone kicked him in the solar plexus. Hard. He just sat on a bench, unable to move, hardly able to breathe. Finally, he stood and bellowed: "NO!"
He paced, he sobbed, he pounded the side of a trailer.
"I was so ecstatic at being a dad," he said. "And it was gone, that quick."
Yancey was allowed to return home to bury their son and to spend a few days with a devastated Vilmur. They cried and grieved together.
Through their mourning, they realized how much they meant to each other.
A decent proposal
After Yancey returned to Iraq to complete his tour of duty, the two decided to marry.
Vilmur and Yancey couldn't afford a headstone for their son, so they knew that they couldn't afford a wedding for a while.
So when Vilmur heard of a KHAY radio contest offering a dream wedding at Ventura's Pierpont Inn as a grand prize, Vilmur entered her 107-word essay.
KHAY morning deejays Charlye Parker and Jon Cowsill said Vilmur's entry stood out among the roughly 100 entries they received because of its sincerity.
"Also, she wanted to do this for him (Yancey)," Parker said, "to keep his mind off of what was going on with the baby. It was important to her to begin to heal."
Juan Carlo / Star staff Jamie Vilmur and Phillip Yancey talk to Starr Heiliger, right, owner of LaStarr & Co., about their wedding cake.
Vilmur danced around her living room squealing when she got the call that she had won the prize, which included perks like photography, a Champagne reception, an ice sculpture, a free night at the Pierpont and a cake.
"She was so excited and screaming and crying," Cowsill said.
After weeks of bleak pain, something good had finally happened.
Yancey was also surprised and thrilled. And he had a surprise of his own for his fiancee.
On Oct. 10, when he arrived home from Iraq, Vilmur was waiting at the flight line. She was 40 pounds lighter, owing to her grief, and relieved to see Yancey again.
Still dressed in his fatigues and combat boots, Yancey spotted Vilmur in the crowd of waiting loved ones as he stepped down from the military transport plane. He strode toward her, swinging his backpack onto the tarmac and gathering her in a fierce hug. He then broke the hug, bent down on one knee and pulled out a jewelry box.
"Will you marry me?" He asked.
Already in tears, her face flushed, Vilmur nodded, said "yes," and hugged him again.
Another surprise
Now, all the couple had to do was plan their wedding. Or so they thought.
Exactly one year after Vilmur learned that she was pregnant, she took a home pregnancy test. And another.
They were positive.
"He looked at it and he looked at me and said, Are you sure?' We took, like, five tests," she said.
Both were surprised sort of.
"It wasn't exactly planned," Vilmur said, "but I don't think either one of us really tried not to, either."
They were happy, but also scared. The tragedy of Riley was still so fresh. The fear intensified for both of them when Vilmur began bleeding in December and was confined to complete bed rest for the entire month.
By March, Madison Faith Yancey was doing just fine. Her mom's feelings about the new baby are multifaceted.
"I'm happy, I'm scared, I'm terrified, I'm ecstatic," she said during an early March fitting for her expanding bridal gown. "I'm a million different things."
On March 16, Vilmur gently pressed her abdomen as she sat in a chair in a guest cottage getting her bridal makeup done. Her hair was caught up in a thin tiara before cascading down her back in loose ringlets.
"She's quiet now, but she was kicking me pretty good earlier," Vilmur said, as the makeup artist swirled a brush through a disc of translucent powder.
After the makeup artist finished with Vilmur, the bride hurried back to the bedroom to don her strapless ivory gown, which had a pregnancy-friendly empire waist.
Eric Parsons / Star staff Jamie Vilmur checks out her wedding dress during a fitting at David's Bridal in Oxnard. Watching are her mother, Sharon, and seamstress Rosie Huntley, right.
"I'm just nervous about tripping or stuttering over my vows," she said, fanning herself with manicured hands as her bridesmaids laced her into her dress.
Down the aisle
The sun was lowering on the horizon and the brisk wind had abated just after 4 p.m., when Vilmur and her dad, Joe Vilmur, walked down the aisle to the gazebo where Yancey and the chaplain waited.
Yancey's eyes filled with tears as the wedding march played and he saw Vilmur in her wedding gown for the first time.
"Wow!" he mouthed to her as the chaplain began speaking.
Emotion softened Vilmur's and Yancey's voices as they pledged to love and keep each other for the rest of their lives.
After the 20-minute ceremony, the audience rose and cheered Mr. and Mrs. Phillip and Jamie Yancey.
After the newlyweds and the wedding party posed for sunset pictures on the grounds and the nearby beach, the roughly 80 guests filtered into a nearby banquet room where linen-covered round tables with glowing candle centerpieces awaited the guests.
The sun set over the ocean beyond the Pierpont as guests danced to requests played by the deejay. A heart-shaped ice sculpture rose on the buffet table behind the dance floor. Inside the sculpture was a bouquet of live flowers.
During the father-daughter dance, Vilmur laid her head on her father's shoulder as they turned slowly to the song "I Loved Her First," by Heartland.
... From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
Someday you might know what I'm going through
When a miracle smiles up at you. ...
Madison Faith Yancey is scheduled to arrive July 7.
The groom will stay with his new wife and newer daughter until September, when he is set to be deployed to Africa. For now, the couple plan to settle into their new life as a family.
"We're married," the new Mrs. Yancey said during the reception. "That's all that matters."
Posted by keepin_it_real on March 30, 2008 at 9:22 a.m. (Suggest removal)
LWCCA...How rude!!!! After what these guys have been thru? Just because you don't believe in marriage doesn't mean others don't.
I have plenty of reasons to feel that way too, but I am not going to make comments like that to others who do. Especially to these guys who have been thru so much.
Have a good day!!!!!
Posted by keepin_it_real on March 30, 2008 at 9:30 a.m. (Suggest removal)
On another note--This story brought tears to my eyes. I read the story and watched the videos and was so touched from begining to end. So happy for both of you.
May you be blessed in your lives together and may little Mattie be born healthy and strong.
I also want to say I appreciate your service to our country.
Star, great job with this story and may we see a follow up when little Mattie arrives.
God Bless!!!!!
Posted by Ambz on March 30, 2008 at 11:37 a.m. (Suggest removal)
what a BEAUTIFUL story. Congrats to the newly weds!! Marriage is a beautiful institution (heehee). Hope all goes well with this pregnancy!!
Posted by AskingQuestions on March 30, 2008 at 1:19 p.m. (Suggest removal)
This is a tear-jerker kind of story. I wish both a lifetime of happiness.
BUT, having said that, it would be wonderful to return to the novel tradition of couples WAITING until after marriage to have children. I guess chastity is old-fashioned.
Posted by NavalAviator on March 30, 2008 at 3:34 p.m.
(This thread was removed by the site staff.)
Posted by Phil23 on March 30, 2008 at 4:51 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Well first I would like to thank everyone who left a nice, inspiring message. Second to all those ignorant humans who left one trying to preach save it for the pulpit. We shared our story because it was story of love and tragedy and the strength of everyday people to overcome hard times. I would like anyone of you people who believe that EVERY person should wait till marraige and blah blah blah to do me a favor. Save it! Love does not need an institution to validate it. Jamie is the only person I've "got it on" with since we met. There is no need for your liberalistic "men are are pigs" speeches. Save it for your shrink please. Just because you think it doesnt mean I want to hear it! Thank you, have a nice day.
Posted by keepin_it_real on March 30, 2008 at 6 p.m. (Suggest removal)
You go Phil23!!!! I believe this is a true love story. Not about someone who has 3 or 4 kids with 2 or 3 different fathers. This couple have been together for a long time.
We teach our chilren the best we can, but what they do on their own, there is nothing we can do about it. They will do what they will do, and you hope and pray they do the right thing. These guys aren't 15 or 16 yrs old, and this is not what this story is about anyway.
It is too bad that some people are so unhappy within themselves they can't be happy for any one else with some joy in their lives. It is also too bad some people can't even have a little empathy for others as well. I don't even know these guys either.
Have a good day....
Posted by NavalAviator on March 30, 2008 at 6:39 p.m.
(This thread was removed by the site staff.)
Posted by marc800 on March 30, 2008 at 7:17 p.m. (Suggest removal)
At least he is taking responsibility for his child, and loves the child's mother as well, unlike many others who just get a girl pregnant and leave and take no responsibility for the child.
Give the guy a break, it's 2008--many people don't get married before having kids. I'm sure everyone here commenting has some skeleton in their closet.
And thank you to both Phillip and Jamie for doing your part in protecting our country, and putting your lives at risk.
Posted by keepin_it_real on March 30, 2008 at 9:48 p.m. (Suggest removal)
If you read the article, Phil proposed to Jamie a long time a go but she said no. He tried to do the right thing, maybe it wasn't the right time. He didn't walk away from his responsibility like many do. He still stood by his girl.
To those of you preaching virginity, How many of you waited for marriage? Hummm???
Phil and Jamie nevermind the negative remarks and stay with the positive ones. Some people just like to burst others balloons. There are alot of very unhappy people out there.
Good night....
Posted by hishuneybear on March 30, 2008 at 10:09 p.m. (Suggest removal)
We married because we love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Did we go about it the right way....is that really up to anyone else to decide. Have you done everything right, yes we shared our story, so of course people are going to comment, and some are going to see only the negative. The article was written because we entered a contest for a wedding and won. We were planning our wedding anyway but having won this amazing gift we were given a wonderful wedding that otherwise we couldn't have afforded. This is a part of our lives we are not saying you should or shouldn't wait to be married this is only the way it happened for us plain and simple, thats it, we are people we have made and will continue to make our own choices. Weather you agree with them or not...well thats up to you. Lets not make this a big discussion of right and wrong it is what it is, life. God Bless
Posted by Phil23 on March 30, 2008 at 10:27 p.m. (Suggest removal)
OxnardResident, so you said WHY did I get married if I said I dont need to validate it right? Hmmmmm lets see.... oh.... I dont know a little thing called LOVE! I do not need a piece of paper to say, oh hey by the way your married. DUH! I DO NOT need a contract to tell myself or anyone else for that matter that Ive sworn to care for and protect the love of my life. And protects children how does that make any sense? What protects my child, a piece of paper!? I don't think so. I do, my wife does, my hard work and LOVE. Thats what protects my child, and my family. If you'd like to debate this more O.R. feel free to email me rileydad22@yahoo.com!
Posted by surfchicxo on March 31, 2008 at 7:59 a.m. (Suggest removal)
It is 2008, and times have changed. Just because one becomes pregnant, before marriage, does not in any way mean that that individual is in the wrong, or irresponsible. You do not need a piece of paper to prove that you love someone. This couple shared their story because of the obstacles that there love was able to conquer, not to glorify premarital sex. Maybe back in the 5o's, or 60's (or earlier) it was a shameful act, but that is due to ignorance.
Posted by Comments on March 31, 2008 at 8:42 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Many, many congrats to this young couple! I wish you a lifetime of happiness together and hope that you don't have to face any more sadness in your lives.
I also wanted to express my condolences for the loss of your son Riley. Losing a baby is a very hard thing to go through (I've experienced similar loss) and unless you've been there, no one really understands. I'm glad that you are both together and are expecting your new miracle soon. Please disregard all the ignorant and judgemental comments here concerning marriage and having children outside of marriage. I think it's wonderful that you both want to spend your lives together and have decided to show your commitment to each other by marrying one another. However, I wouldn't think any less of your love or commitment had you decided not to marry and to live as a couple. I personally don't think it's anyone's business at all whether or not marriage enters the picture. A loving home is all a child needs to thrive. Validation via the gov't or a church doesn't make a love any stronger.
All the best.
(P.S. - for those wondering, I am married, but I think no less of those who would rather not marry their partners)
Posted by allblacks on March 31, 2008 at 9:12 a.m.
(This thread was removed by the site staff.)
Posted by mmbac on March 31, 2008 at 9:14 a.m. (Suggest removal)
I'm really surprised that this story made it to the front of the website, the details in it were a little too personal in my opinion.
I'm very sorry for this couple's loss and happy they were able to win a dream wedding, but I question why The Star would want to make this basically a front page newsworthy story, especially considering they have become pregnant twice before marriage and giving very personal details about their relationship as well.
Posted by calgirlinky on March 31, 2008 at 11:04 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Congratulations to both of you. I hope that you and your daughter have a great life and get all that you want from it. Maybe you will get lucky and he'll "get it on" again and another baby will be on the way. Don't listen to the stupidity and holier-than-thou comments of a few. I have been with the same man for 13 years, have two beautiful children and will NEVER get married. I see no need in a piece of paper and showing off for others if our love is strong enough. You both should be commended as you have put your lives on the line for all of us....so to Oxnard Resident...you might want to walk through the door marked reality. You might be very surprised what is out there.
Posted by sullyjmr on March 31, 2008 at 11:13 a.m. (Suggest removal)
I guess I missed the breaking news when GOD handed over judgement privileges to people in Oxnard. I commend you both for being able to remain strong to each other during your difficult time. It's hard enough during long deployments, let alone with everything else to deal with. Congratulation to the both of you in your new marriage and for the upcoming birth of your new child. And remember, you only need to be committed to each other, not to ignorant people who have nothing better to do than condemn everyone else!
Posted by DamnSkippy on March 31, 2008 at 11:17 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Congatulations Phillip & Jamie! You two deserve all the happiness in the world.
As for all the negative comments that seem to be flying from people's holier than thou mouths... just ignore it. You have bigger hurdles ahead. Being in the armed services you of course know that! You have made a commitment to each other and to your child. And even if it's not in the "traditional" sense, you have taken that step and should be congratulated not attacked! Support each other and always remember that if you can survive all that life has thrown your way so far you can get through anything! Best of luck to you and your new family!
Posted by JeannetteMedrano on March 31, 2008 at 12:19 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Phillip & Jamie, all the happiness to you both and Baby Mattie! Congratulations!
Posted by AskingQuestions on April 1, 2008 at 7:58 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Again, congratulations and best wishes to the Yancy's.
My previous comments had nothing to do with needing a "paper" before having children, nor did my comments have any religious overtones. The intent of my comments had to do the the act of producing children before marriage. Marriage is a formal legal act -- a contract (yes a piece of paper) that provides committment to one another and carries with it a set of responsibilities. Having children is a whole other matter and a completely different set of responsibilities and a different type of committment. Various scientific and university studies have proven that couples who give themselves time to get to know one another before deciding to have children not only make better parents, they also have a better chance of having a successful marriage. When a couple chooses to express their love physically, before or after marriage, is a private matter and should be done with the prevention of producing children, at least until the couple is conciously ready for the responsibility and commitment of having children.
Posted by math_spirit on April 1, 2008 at 8:05 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Looking at all of the deleted comments, I see that ignorance is bliss in Ventura County -- Heck it's having a party.
Phillip and Jamie, your story touched my heart.
Life's darkest clouds have finally given you a silver lining. May your life together shine as bright as the stars above.
Wishing for you and your family a lifetime of love, happiness, and laughter --
Prayers, happy thoughts, and congrtulations from Sacramento, CA
Posted by math_spirit on April 1, 2008 at 8:12 a.m. (Suggest removal)
LWCCA
On behalf of all the single women out there, THANK YOU for not wanting to get married.
Women everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief.
Posted by RedTail on April 1, 2008 at 10:39 a.m. (Suggest removal)
First off, thank you Phillip and Jamie for your service in the military.
To all the negative posters, why does it bother you now? They are married! If you believe they did the wrong thing by getting pregnant before marriage, well everything is solved now and it's a non issue.
Congratulations on your marriage Phillip and Jamie. Thanks for sharing your wonderful story!
Article discussions on this site are to support community debates of issues related to our stories and editorials.
Discussions should not stray from the subject of the story or editorial.
We do not allow the following:
- Posts that degrade others on the basis of gender, race, class, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sexual orientation or disability.
- Disparaging remarks, abusive language or obscene comments.
- Threats, whether obvious or veiled.
We reserve the right to delete threads and/or ban users for these or other reasons we deem necessary.
Opinions are the sole responsibility of the person posting them. You agree not to post comments that are off topic, defamatory, obscene, abusive, threatening or an invasion of privacy. Violators may be banned. Click here for our full user agreement.
There are 21 comments to this article.
Comments are found beneath the Yahoo! ad below.