The July 1 hands-free deadline was looming and, rather than finance an avalanche of tickets for holding a cell phone while driving, I took my entire family for a shopping trip at the electronics store to buy the hands-free devices that would liberate us.

As is always the case when my kids come home for a visit, $20 bills had been leaving my wallet like kids fleeing a classroom on the last day of school. Only bedtime — mine — stopped the stampede of currency, but the exodus resumed at breakfast. Hands-free technology promised to take the spending spree to a whole new level.

By the time we left the store, I was considerably poorer, but I had one seriously connected family. When I say connected, I mean they all had a variety of electronic devices on their bodies, each blinking with green, blue and red lights and communicating with each other, and not a single wire in sight.

Not that the process was without complications. My son was assigned the task of linking the new hands-free devices to our existing cell phones. In the end, it wasn't a particularly difficult process (for him), but we only realized that after trying in vain to read the directions in four languages, none of which were English.

As is the case with most issues involving cell phones, it took my daughter about 30 seconds to adapt to the new technology. My son was slightly behind, but only because he was also instructing his mother.

For her part, my wife was not as fast to find a comfort level with the new equipment. For one thing, she couldn't seem to get her earpiece to fit comfortably. I told her to stop thinking of it as electronics and start thinking about it as accessorizing. That seemed to help.

In the end, we became a hands-free family, meaning no change for my wife (she never answers her phone), no change for me (no one ever calls me) and business as usual for the kids.

Actually, it's almost magical for the kids. They can now continue to run up astronomical phone bills without having to physically touch their phones. If that isn't progress, I don't know what is.

To be fair, the whole hands-free cellular phone issue is a serious one. No one can honestly say that talking on the phone while driving doesn't distract them. It does. Sometimes tragically.

In a news release, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "The simple fact is it's dangerous to talk on your cell phone while driving. CHP data show that cell phones are the No. 1 cause of distracted-driving accidents."

The release went on to say that distracted driving results in tens of thousands of accidents every year, many causing serious injuries or death. And, while a hands-free device doesn't eliminate the distraction, it at least allows you to keep both hands on the wheel.

There is, however, a caveat to all of this. Every one of the hands-free earpieces looks silly. They look like something you would have seen in an episode of "Star Trek." And a little blue light blinking on your ear is not attractive.

So, leave your hands-free device in the car. Because walking though the mall talking to yourself makes you look ridiculous, and I find that distracting. And, as we all know, the mall is already dangerous enough.

— Contact Star columnist Bill Nash at bnash805@aol.com.