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Prescription medication teens' drug of choice
Young addicts report pills are easy to obtain
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Photo by Karen Quincy Loberg
A youth appears before Juvenile Court Judge Manuel Covarrubias in Oxnard.
How to get help
The following groups offer help or information on prescription drug and other substance abuse:
Ventura County Alcohol and Drug Program Outpatient Counseling Centers: 24 E. Main St., Ventura, 652-6919; 3150 Los Angeles Ave., Simi Valley, 577-0830; 1911 Williams Drive, Oxnard, 981-9200; 828 Ventura St., Suite 250, Fillmore, 524-8644.
Action Family Counseling: 800-FOR-TEEN (800-367-8336); http://www.actionfamily.org.
Palmer Drug Abuse Program of Ventura County: 482-1265; http://www.pdapofventura.com.
Interface Children Family Services: 800-636-6738; http://www.icfs.org.; call 211 for immediate assistance.
Partnership for a Drug-Free America: http://www.drugfree.org.
Parents. The Anti-Drug: http://www.theantidrug.com.
National Institute on Drug Abuse: http://www.drugabuse.gov.
STORY TOOLS 
More from Other NewsColin stole pain pills from his grandfather and took Xanax from a friend's mom. Amber filched Vicodin from a neighbor. Sarah got Ritalin from a friend with a prescription.
The teens — recovering drug addicts who gathered last month with other young former drug users and their parents for a support group meeting — are part of a growing number of young people who have abused prescription drugs.
In fact, most of the teens at the Action Family Counseling support group meeting at Apollo High School in Simi Valley said they used to get high on medications intended to control pain, anxiety or attention deficit disorder.
The most popular pills include anti-anxiety medications such as Xanax and Valium, pain pills including Oxycontin and Vicodin, drugs for attention deficit disorder like Adderall and Ritalin, and Soma, a muscle relaxant.
"Prescription drug use is just astronomically high among the youth population," said Patrick Zarate, who manages alcohol and drug programs for the Ventura County Behavioral Health Department.
Nationwide, more teens are now abusing prescription medications than any drug except marijuana, according to a report released in January by the U.S. Office of National Drug Control Policy.
In 2006, 15 percent of 11th-graders, 9 percent of ninth-graders and 4 percent of seventh-graders reported taking painkillers without prescriptions, according to the California Student Survey.
For 12- and 13-year-olds across the country, prescription medication is the drug of choice, the Drug Control Policy report says.
The trend has the attention of law enforcement officials and drug counselors in Ventura County.
When Kim Shean of the Ventura County Probation Agency last month looked through the records of the last 100 kids who passed through the county's juvenile drug courts, she found that 38 admitted to abusing some kind of prescription drug. Over the past six months, the number of kids admitting to prescription drug abuse was 55 percent of the total, said Shean, who supervises the juvenile drug court.
"This is the drug of choice now: pills, any pills," said Deputy Gary Niebergall of the Ventura County Sheriff's Department, who has spent the last three years as a resource officer at Camarillo High School.
Niebergall said he has found students with pills they swiped from medicine cabinets or bought without even knowing what they were because they thought that they could get high. In one case, Niebergall found an unknowing boy with estrogen pills.
Why prescription pills? At last month's Action meeting at Apollo, the most common answer from teens was that they are easy to get. Many asked that their last names not be used because of their age and the sensitivity of the topic.
Sarah, 15, of Simi Valley said she took many different drugs before she went into treatment: Ritalin, Vicodin, Xanax, Soma, Norco, marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamine and ecstasy. The Norco and Vicodin came from a friend in choir who got it from her parents, she said. She got the Ritalin from a friend with a prescription. Sometimes, she said, she'd pop the pills at school.
Colin, 15, of Simi Valley said he bought his first Oxycontin pill from a man outside a liquor store when he was 14. By that time, he'd already been smoking marijuana for three years.
When he needed a fix, he sometimes swiped prescription painkillers from his grandfather's medicine cabinet, he said. "If I didn't have to spend any money, I'd take anything," he said.
Sources of drugs
The majority of teens abusing prescription drugs find them in home medicine cabinets or get them from other young people, according to local authorities and national studies.
"Even the dealers are finding them at home," said addiction specialist Cary Quashen, founder and CEO of Action Family Counseling.
Simi Valley police frequently refer families struggling with drug problems to Action, which has several facilities in Ventura County.
The Drug Control Policy report states that 70 percent of young people 12 and older who admitted abusing painkillers in the past year got them from friends or relatives, while 19 percent got them from doctors and 4 percent bought them from dealers.
The availability of prescription drugs from Internet pharmacies also concerns local authorities.
One Simi Valley mom said her 18-year-old daughter Ashlee eventually admitted that she started taking pills, including Xanax and Somas, because they were easier to get than alcohol.
Although her parents started monitoring Ashlee closely last year when they discovered that she had a drinking problem, they didn't know that she had been abusing pills for months, mom Karen said.
"They are expert liars and manipulators," Karen said of addicted kids. "It does take you months to really admit to yourself and see how bad it is."
After less than a year of using Oxycontin, Ashlee was so addicted that her parents became convinced that she was on track to overdose and die. In April, family members persuaded Ashlee to enter a rehabilitation facility in Georgia, where she is currently recovering, Karen said.
Quashen said Ashlee had earlier gone through an Action rehabilitation program before relapsing. Her parents did the right thing by getting her the level of treatment she needed, said Quashen, who is also executive director of behavioral health at Henry Mayo Newhall Memorial Hospital in Valencia.
Many parents are clueless or in denial about prescription pill abuse, he said.
Although it's illegal to take pharmaceuticals without a prescription, more than one-fourth of the parents interviewed for a 2007 study by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America said prescription pills are less dangerous than street drugs. Seventy percent said they talked to their kids a lot about the dangers of marijuana, but only about 35 percent did the same about prescription drugs.
Many teens also perceive pharmaceuticals as safe, according to another study by the partnership. "One of the areas that makes it so dangerous is the perception that there is no risk or little risk," Zarate said.
Teens who abuse pharmaceuticals often take them in conjunction with alcohol or marijuana, said Dr. William Arroyo, medical director of children's services for the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health. "The rule is to mix them," he said. "The exception is to take them alone."
Teen parties occasionally include a bowl where revelers dump whatever pills they have, then return to pick indiscriminately from the mix, Zarate said.
Risk of overdose
Mixing prescription pills and alcohol or other drugs increases the risk of accidental overdose. Many pain pills and anti-anxiety agents can slow down respiration, Arroyo said. When mixed with other drugs or alcohol, they can cause the user to stop breathing and die.
Stimulants such as medications for attention deficit disorder can also cause medical emergencies because they raise the heart rate and blood pressure.
Many pharmaceuticals are physically addictive. Addicts withdrawing from drugs including Oxycontin, Valium and Xanax sometimes experience seizures and irregular heartbeats, Arroyo said.
Over the past decade, an average of one teen or young adult died each year in Ventura County from an accidental overdose of prescription pills, according to data compiled by the Ventura County Medical Examiner-Coroner's Office.
Between 1997 and June, 13 people ages 15 to 20 died from accidental overdoses of prescription drugs, Deputy Medical Examiner Shasta Gainer said.
The Partnership for a Drug-Free America in January launched a campaign about pharmaceutical abuse, and last month, the California Department of Alcohol and Drug Programs announced that a multi-agency task force would begin examining the issue.
The Ventura County Behavioral Health Department is working to mount its first public information campaign on the issue, Zarate said. The department is preparing this month to send letters to school officials about prescription drug abuse along with digital slides on the subject.
The department plans to host a community forum about prescription drug abuse in October.
One message that authorities want to spread is that parents have the power to control the prescription drug supply.
"It could come down to a crawl if the parents would just lock the stuff up," Niebergall said.
Arroyo recommended that parents also monitor the mail for drugs obtained over the Internet. "It would minimize the risk," he said. "That's all parents can do."
Posted by OxnardNative on July 28, 2008 at 5:26 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Can you say; "Parent Project"!? If you have not taken the class and you have kids, you better oughta get in touch. www.parentproject.com IT REALLY HELPS.
Posted by Hueneme_girl29 on July 28, 2008 at 7:07 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Pretty sad these days that you have to hide your own rx's in your own house.....
Posted by santabarbarasand on July 28, 2008 at 7:21 a.m. (Suggest removal)
This is an issue that I hadn't thought about but learned about firsthand last year. I have a teenaged son and we were caring for my terminally ill father in our home. My Dad moved to Hospice and I only sent the medication with him that he was still taking. Several bottles of old meds were here which I put in a box in the top corner of a closet but there were a couple of bottles of liquid meds that I had forgotten in the fridge. I never had a worry that my son would touch any of it!
After Dad moved I took my first vacation in a long time and went away for a week, leaving my son in charge of the house. He was almost 19 at the time and had been a pretty responsible kid so I felt safe about leaving him here. We had a rule that he was not to have friends over but he broke that rule. The friend who was here turned out to be a young man who had a drug problem and he discovered the medication that was in the fridge. When I got home I learned what happened...
Apparently they decided to drink a bottle of my wine and at some point the young man noticed the medications. He researched them online to determine what they were and what ones to mix. Then he made each of them a "c---tail" with the liquid meds. My son was busy on his laptop arguing with someone and really wasn't paying much attention because the other kid was using my computer to do his research. When handed his c---tail, he drank it. Fortunately my sons c---tail was weak...the other boy poured himself several OUNCES of liquid ativan however. There were also two teenaged girls here... one got sick and they stuck her in the shower until she felt better, which she eventually did. The other boy didn't feel that great but he told them all he would feel better in the morning after sleeping it off.
Well, in the morning when they woke up, the other young man was dead of an overdose. This could have been prevented had I disposed of the medication quickly. I didn't take into consideration that my son would have a friend who would do this or that my son would allow it. I learned that it doesnt matter how much you trust your child, they make bad choices and it is better to be safe than sorry. The young man who died may have overdosed on purpose, as his history indicated he wanted to die, but had I disposed of the old meds, he wouldn't have died here from what I had in my house.
Posted by santabarbarasand on July 28, 2008 at 7:28 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Besides locking up medications we need to dispose of old ones quickly and correctly. My father had only moved about 10 days before I left for vacation. I had read that medication shouldn't be flushed down the toilet anymore and I wasn't sure how to get rid of the old drugs. My plan was to take care of it upon my return. After the incident the first thing I did was find out how to get rid of the rest of the medication and I did that.
For pills they tell you to add water to the container and once the pills dissolve you should pour them into a baggy with kitty litter and then throw it away. Same with liquid medication, put them in a baggy with kitty litter (or flour, sugar, sand, etc.) and put it into the trash.
The detective told me that in his interview he felt my son had never done this type of thing before but the teenaged girls both had been taking prescription medications from people's homes for a while. They told him that "everyone has drugs in their homes, you just need to know where to look for them." He told me that people put more trust in their kids than teenagers should have because we want to believe our kid will never make these types of choices. He said we may trust our own kid but that we cannot trust their friends and we shouldn't trust our own kids either when it comes to things like this. I had to learn the hard way and I hope that others can avoid that experience by reading my story.
Posted by beachmom on July 28, 2008 at 8:12 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Dear Santabarbarasand,
Thank you very much for taking the time to tell your story. It is one thing to read a news article, it is quite something else to read a personal experience. You have added reality that gave me a knot in my stomach. My goodness, what you went through! You sure made me sit up and take this information seriously.
Posted by rebel123 on July 28, 2008 at 8:17 a.m. (Suggest removal)
This problem is so prevalent that when my youngest daughter had her wisdom teeth removed the doctor would not prescribe any pain meds for her and told me to give her Advil. All four were impacted, still in her jaw and had to be broken to be removed, one along with a piece of her jawbone. She developed dry sockets on two of them and was in extreme agony. Finally after I pleaded and assured the oral surgeon that I would keep the pills in my possession, he prescribed Vicodin. He said that kids were selling their Rx's. Really, really sad and dangerous.
Posted by Hueneme_girl29 on July 28, 2008 at 8:21 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Rebel- I had the exact same procedure when I was 14 - 4 impacted and broke my jaw to get them out. I also had 4 molars taken out in the same procedure! 8 teeth at once, all to get braces! :) Oh well, teeth are straigt now!
Posted by santabarbarasand on July 28, 2008 at 8:37 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Thanks Beachmom,
I think about it every single day! This happened last November and it still breaks my heart. The counselor said to share my story whenever I can and I've posted it several places, as well as my experience has changed the way that Hospice discusses old medications with patient's families when someone passes away or moves to a care facility. I spoke to many people who had lost a loved one to an illness and most didn't even think about disposing of the medications for months...
The boy who overdosed was 19 and the child of a friend of mine. She knew he was doing these things and knew that I had a rule of no friends over yet she dropped her son off here, along with the 2 underaged girls, while she knew I was away. She and her family blame me for it. It's hard, I blame myself also but to a degree... my ignorance was part of the problem, the boys drug abuse was part of the problem, my sons lack of attention was part of the problem and that mother was part of the problem. We all share blame but ultimately it was the young man who made the choice. He read the labels, researched the meds and then chose to take WAY too much. With his suicidal, mental and drug abuse history, there is reason to think he did it intentionally but no way to ever know. I work myself over with these thoughts and the only conclusion that I have is that if I had gotten rid of the meds, hid them better or locked them up, this would not have happened at MY house. I failed to protect my home and my son from such a traumatic event.
I'm the kind of person who reads everything I can about things like this... I take from it what I can to help myself to live my life well and I assure you if I had read HOW to dispose of meds, they would have been gone from my house, even though my father had just moved. Disposing of the drugs WAS part of my plan for when I got back from my trip and there was just a small window where this could happen and it did. I have to live with that and it's hard. Avoid that happening to you and to those you care about!! The biggest irony is that I had prepared my son for so many things that could happen with friends, including to recognize the signs of alcohol overdose. I failed to teach him the warning signs of drug overdose. Had I done that he would have called 911 the night the kid took the meds and he would have lived. :(
Posted by takeactionmom on July 28, 2008 at 10:03 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Prescription drug use among teens has grown exponentially in recent years. All of our kids are at risk because the pills are so easily obtained. My 16 year old son, who is a recovering addict, favored Xanax and Vicodin, as well as amphetamines, cocaine, and marijuana. He obtained and used many of these pills AT SCHOOL. He used daily, was an habitual runaway, had anger issues, and was becoming violent at home. I sent him to inpatient treatment through Action Family Counseling followed up by outpatient treatment and ongoing aftercare, which is the critical piece. Too many parents seek treatment for their kids and then think that they are "fixed." You can not fix addiction, it must be continually managed. Not all of our kids are addicts, but even the "at-risk" kids do much much better when they participate in an ongoing program. The kids don't have to want help, it is the parents' commitment that matters and WILL make a difference. My son will have 6 months clean tomorrow and is doing exceptionally well today because of the ACTION Parent/Teen Support Program, which is a FREE weekly meeting for parents and teens to learn how to manage high risk behaviors. My son and I have repaired our relationship and created a much stronger family bond through our attendance at the ACTION meetings. I urge anybody who is dealing with - or even suspects - substance abuse with their kids to take the first step and attend an ACTION meeting. There are local weekly meetings in Newbury Park, Oak Park, and Simi Valley. Call 800-FOR-TEEN for meeting information. The first step is the hardest, but you will not regret it.
Posted by BeaHappi on July 28, 2008 at 11:06 a.m. (Suggest removal)
santabarbarasand...wow, your message is so powerful. I am very sorry about what happened in your home.
I hope that you are able to forgive yourself and hopefully by sharing this story, others will not suffer the same fate.
God bless...
Posted by opns on July 28, 2008 at 11:29 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Yes Bea, this is a very empowering .
Ms. Santa – So so sorry this happened to you. Sounds like your trying to make restitution with the other family, and I commend you for journalizing and educating people. Your counselor is absolutely correct. You had your boundaries, and they were violated. I am going to assume that your son was about 16-17 yrs old when this happened. And I also feel strongly that this 19 year old was over-powering your son, and your son just let him in. A druggie will find a way to exploit innocent people – so your son too should not feel guilty what so ever. THIS WAS NOT HIS FAULT.
So sorry to the loss of the 19 year old, by law an adult. But it always appears that he had this drug problem for a while, and he knew what you had in your refridge. And no, you did not have to hide it more. He stole from you and he violated you. The other family has to come to grips with that. They may never understand.
And again to you, remember you were violated.
Thank you for the story.
Posted by hotwildflower on July 28, 2008 at 12:45 p.m. (Suggest removal)
This is so scary and very eye opening. Thanks, Santabarbarasand for your story, as well. Really hits home with any parent.
I have a son who is entering high school this fall and while I have set up all the boundries and limits and to this point, he follows all of them to a "t", I don't want to turn a blind eye and assume we are safe. I've talked to him about drinking, drugs and smoking, but I honestly don't believe prescriptions have ever been discussed.
This will help prepare me for the topic and make sure it's one more point that we get across. I am sure I will get the good ol' "I know, mom!" but I want to make sure we cover all bases because this isn't the same world I grew up in just yesterday!
I don't believe the story addressed suggestions for parents who actually have prescriptions in the home because they need them, what is the best way to store them? I am sure many people have some on their nightstand because they need to take them before bed or when they wake up.
Posted by mamaof2 on July 28, 2008 at 12:59 p.m. (Suggest removal)
hotwilder: i have a file cabinet with a lock in my room, even though i dont have perscription drugs i would probably lock them up in there if i did have any. the key stays with me.
Posted by 805m0mma on July 28, 2008 at 1:26 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Wow! I guess I never realized how easy it was for these kids to be getting them at school! My neighbors' son has had anger issues for quite sometime and has refused to go to counseling...all of a sudden he told him mom that he took a friends Ritalin and that he felt good and wasn't angry he did all his homework and agreed to go see a counselor...i thought that was strange but it all makes sense now! He con'd his mothering into believing they helped him and now he has a prescription!
Posted by patticakepatti on July 28, 2008 at 2:18 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Santabar...what a nightmare you have been through. And thank you for sharing your story, this problem is only going to get worse if the public is not educated.
Your friend has no right blaming you. She was aware that you were not home, she was aware that her son did not belong there when you were not home and I'm sure she was aware that her son had problems, another reason she should not have dropped him off at your house with 2 underage girls when you were not home. She has to know deep inside that this was not your doing.
I'm glad your son is safe. This experience will last his lifetime and I send many positive wishes that he embraces it and turns it into a positive. Through counseling or some sort of therapy, he should come to realize that this was not his fault. It looks like he has a great role model! Hang in there.
Posted by patticakepatti on July 28, 2008 at 2:22 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Great tips on getting rid of medication as well, I didn't realize you weren't suppose to flush them down the toilet anymore, but it makes sense.
For those of you needing ideas as to how to store your prescription medicines...A portable safe is an inexpensive way. They are fire-proof and have a durable lock on them, just make sure you have control of the key at all times. These can be purchased at drugstores, target, wal-mart, office supply stores. They are usually by the office supplies.
Posted by patticakepatti on July 28, 2008 at 2:33 p.m. (Suggest removal)
And always, always remember, it doesn't matter what type of medication it is, it needs to be locked up. A police officer recently found estrogen pills on a 15 year old, he said he took them from his mother. He didn't know what they were, he just wanted to get high!
Posted by santabarbarasand on July 28, 2008 at 5:16 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Thanks to all of you for your support. It's a tough situation as there are many at fault. My son was 18 at the time or I would never have left him alone for that long! Not a perfect kid, but a good kid, this was not something I would have ever predicted. The boy who was hanging out with him had not been around for a long time and my son knew I didn't approve of him. His own mom had kicked him out many times previously because of alcohol & drug abuse. He had been in places to get mental help off and on throughout his teenaged years and within the year prior to his OD at my house, she had to call 911 and have him taken to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. I now think that there was probably more to it than just alcohol.
She knew... the rest of the family didn't know though, I'm fairly certain she didn't want them to know the extent of his problems because she is a very proud woman. I am an easy target for those that didn't know... I realize that people need to be angry at someone and they don't want to be angry with him so why not be angry with me? I can live with that and their anger towards me isn't what upsets me. That it happened is what upsets me.
If telling this can prevent even one family from experiencing this that would be worth the pain of telling it. I had a horrible day today, was very depressed and thought about little else but this incident. What consoled me some was the comment from beachmom that I saw before I left and knowing that my story may be shared and used to prevent other crisis helps.
opns, thank you! Violated is exactly how I feel. You should have seen me tear apart and scrub every inch of my house after this happened. The young man died in my sons bed... I got a dumpster over here and gutted that room, threw away all the bedding and the mattresses and turned it into a storage room. It helped but only time will make me feel safe again. My son is not allowed to have ANY guests whether I am here or not because what trust I had is totally gone now.
Posted by Gingers on July 29, 2008 at 2:42 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Santabar and others, prescription drug abuse has been going on at least since I was in high school back in the 1980s. I remember having a hard copy of the PDR (Physicians Desk Reference) and friends bringing me pills to look up. Its a lot easier now with the Internet and teenagers wanting to escape reality will look to the easiest ways to do it - for some stupid reason, they think pills are safe. I know I did. I thought if I read enough about what I was taking I would be safe. We definitely pilfered all parents' bathrooms looking for pills. I remember one idiot girl taking an overdose on heart medication. I had told her what it was - she didn't care. I'm 41 now. My prescription meds are locked in a lock box. I trust no one. I remember too well when I was a member of the national honor society living my double life. Young people sometime just experiment too much and sometimes it cost them their lives. To place the blame on someone else is not right and completely unfair. However, with the knowledge everyone has from reading this topic board, future tragedies may be averted.
I do wish everyone reading this thread good wishes as I know no one did any deliberate harm. No child was left with drugs unattended. A young man made a poor choice and while sad, this is not the blame of one woman. It was his adult choice - helped in part by his own mother who brought him to the place where there was no further supervision. I am sorry and like many others, thank you Santabar for sharing your story. The risk from prescription medications is far worse than the risk of marijuana, yet how many parents talk to their kids about pills? Pills can kill. Pot cannot.
Posted by santabarbarasand on July 29, 2008 at 7:18 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Good points Ginger and thank you for sharing your side of the story. Teens don't always make good choices, even good kids who are seemingly on the right path. Us parents need to take our blinders off and be aware of that. We don't want to believe that our good kid will dabble in something like this or have friends that do but it IS a harsh reality. Stories like this bring it to light and we all need to take it to heart. I wish I had read something about it a year ago... things would have been different in my world.
You're right, we worry over pot and underage drinking the most, they are what we hear about most in the news and are more easily seen with our own eyes. However the most dangerous addictions are the easiest for our children to get a hold of and yes, because they are medications they think that it is safe. Teens really do think that they are invincible, until someone dies. Even then, others think "well that won't happen to me". Us parents do the same thing sometimes and we forget how good teens are at manipulation. I'm close to my son but this situation revealed that there is more that I don't know about him than that I did. It opened my eyes for sure!
Posted by opns on July 29, 2008 at 8:16 a.m. (Suggest removal)
“My son is not allowed to have ANY guests whether I am here or not because what trust I had is totally gone now”.
I'm close to my son but this situation revealed that there is more that I don't know about him than that I did. It opened my eyes for sure”!
Ms. Santa,
You will always be learning about your son, because life for him has only begun. When they start to grow up, we parents start to see a new being, and exciting one, that’s why parents love their individual child individually.
You have explained your pain very clearly, but Ms. Santa, please – soon, and I mean soon, you will have to start trusting him again. Start with little things, I know that he desires this very much, especially from you. Don’t let this ugly test in life keep you in the dark road, but yet, stir back with your boundaries back into light. Ask your son to help you and be a part of it, for one day he will have children, ask him what other boundaries we all could implement for the future, in other words, heal together, but make him a big part of it.
Posted by santabarbarasand on July 29, 2008 at 8:46 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Good suggestions opns, but he is 19 (will be 20 in January) and refuses to work, refuses to go to school, stays up all night, sleeps all day and just a week ago he snuck a girl in his room. It's like he was hiding this all from me, or I was blind to the things he was and wasn't doing, and now he is smacking me in the face with it. I know he has some depression from the incident and I've tried to get him counseling but he refuses it. Legally an adult, there is not much I can do short of kicking him out of the house... just like that other mom did! I don't want to be one of those parents that gives up on my kid and kicks them out but I'm running out of ideas as to how to motivate him. Seriously, I have talked with him and we have agreed on clear cut rules and have made plans for him to work, save money and go to school but he doesn't follow through on anything. He gets fired within 2 weeks of starting any new job!
My son has blown the trust and as we move further from the incident, he blows it more and more.
During all of this my father is still fighting for life in Hospice, I hold a full time job, I go to school full time, etc... and I simply don't have time or energy to police my adult son at this point. He is not rising to the challenge and he does not seem to have learned how precious life is from what happened.
Instead of being excited about his young adulthood (as I was before) I'm scared to death!
Posted by opns on July 29, 2008 at 9:10 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Ms. Santa,
Just because your kicking him out does not mean that your letting him down - you know in your heart you will always be there to an extent, Tough Love is brutal to parents at any age and it is time to stop policing him. You have too much on your plate and sounds like you have been burning on both end of the candle for too long, stop doing that to yourself, and get him out of course with love. Unfortunately he has refused at his age to accept the resources from society. You did your job, and it sounds like you did a good job - he is not a child anymore, and he's not making good choices in his pre-adult life and starting to act out by violating your boundaries.
My prayer is that Gods spirit will wrap all over you so that you may receive peace and guidance.
Respectfully yours,
Posted by VCountyGal on July 29, 2008 at 9:44 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Dear Santa,
I certainly can feel your pain. I had a similiar situation happen to our family. We even did a radio show about our situation. Please listen to our story. You can access it at www.Hometownstation.com, I believe you can go to podcasts and click on the June 2nd date and then right click where it says download. You then "Save Target As" and you can put it on your desktop. It's not a pretty story, but it is a true one. Unfortunately I can't access it here at work to double check my instructions, but I believe this is pretty accurate.
Posted by Face on July 30, 2008 at 11:07 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Kids get high on anything they can find, prescription drugs, OTC drugs like cough medicine, gasoline, even Preparation H is being abused. Of course they get high on "illegal" drugs as well. There is no stopping kids from blowing their minds on whatever is around the house. The key is Education and Rehabilitation funded by legalizing all drugs and taxing them. The money saved from not having to fill our prisons with drug users would easily fund a majority of these programs if not all. Talk about a war that cannot be won, that is the current War on Drugs. How many dollars, man hours, imprisoned youth, and deaths? How do gangs exist and afford advanced weaponry? Who wants to keep drugs illegal? The Medillin Cartel, Mexican druglords, street gangs, and you. Know why you heard of Al Capone? Think about it.
Posted by santabarbarasand on July 31, 2008 at 7:27 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Good points Face. Unfortunately our youth has the issue of feeling that nothing can truly hurt them and they experiment until they are hooked..and they are easily hooked! It's not peer pressure so much as wanting to have some control over what they do and in them taking control and making these types of choices, they don't realize they are actually giving up their control. In some cases they are giving up their lives completely.
Legalizing drugs would reduce many issues but it won't solve the problem. Imagine legalizing cocaine... do you think that it will decrease addiction? Not likely! In fact, there may be even more addicts because law abiding citizens may not see a problem with using the drug. Legalization would reduce some types of crime, certainly I totally agree with you there but should these drugs be legal? Would you want your child to be able to purchase them in the drug store at age 18 and think it is okay to try them because they are legal? I know that I wouldn't want that, it seems like legalizing them would encourage more drug abuse.
Legalizing drugs wouldn't even stop crime related to them. Think about all of the addicts who wouldn't be able to afford to buy them. We would see an increase in robberies and theft I imagine and a black market for the drugs sold at a lower price. It would be just like electronics, there are so many thefts of expensive gadgets that people want and cannot afford. Or the black market for organs for those that CAN afford it but cannot handle the idea of being on a waiting list. Crime wouldn't stop, it would just change.
There are no easy and clear cut answers to some of these problems we face. Drugs, gangs, homelessness, war... if only it was so easy to get the masses to all think alike. The thing is that the differing opinions remind us how many sides there are to each issue and that emphasizes why they are issues to begin with. Really all we can each do is to live our lives the best we can, teach our children the difference between right & wrong, and help others when we have the opportunity to do so. At least, that's opinion...
Posted by granmama on July 31, 2008 at 8:35 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Please go look at Prescription Suicide, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZHD89...
Also, www.christopherpittman.info
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