Communication is the greatest and perhaps least-used tool we have to connect with others. Here are 10 reasons we don't talk and how to make a correction when necessary.

1. Actions that you don't agree with can be conversation stoppers. Talk about what you'd prefer and try to find some balance and a way for you to get more out of what's going on.

2. If it's a difficult topic, to avoid hurting someone's feelings, share your insights gently. This also will help you resolve things more easily.

3. It's hard to make conversation if you feel like you talk about the same subjects all the time. Some successful couples pick different areas of interest to remain informed on, so they can share what they've learned with their partners.

4. On occasion, we believe we've had a conversation with our partner when we actually thought about the conversation instead of having it. Check with your mate before you jump to the conclusion that you've already discussed the subject.

5. Some people are too lazy to want to engage in conversation. They'd rather hang out and stare at a TV instead of using their heads and hearts to connect with someone they claim to love.

6. There are times when even the best conversationalist will be too tired to put words together. If this happens, lovingly tell your mate that you'd like to chat about this later. And make sure that you're the one who brings the topic up again.

7. Don't try to be a mind reader. You may think you know what your partner is going to say, and so you don't bother bringing it up. This is a recipe for hurt feelings. Just say the words and avoid the problem.

8. Eavesdropping is an unreliable way to get information. Just because you think you've heard something doesn't mean you got it right. Check it out before you get offended or clam up.

9. Unhealed anger will cause almost anyone to withhold conversation. If you're mad at someone you love, tell him or her and get it out, so you can get back to normal.

10. If you're a busy person, you might not think about taking time out to talk with those you care for. Make sure your life doesn't take away from your love. Check in on a regular basis. The conversations don't have to take long; they just have to take place.

Take every opportunity you have to connect with the people you care about. The easiest way to do that is to talk with them.

— Dr. Barton Goldsmith, marriage and family therapist, can be reached at 818-879-9996 or via e-mail at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com. He has lived and practiced in Westlake Village for more than a decade. Hear him live on KCLU Radio, 88.3 FM, from 1 to 2 p.m. Mondays.