Photo by Jen Edney
Special to The Star

"My parents were married for 50 years, and Ray's parents married at least 50 years," Irma Ziff said. The couple appear in an earlier photo at right.

Photo by Jen Edney
Special to The Star

Irma and Ray Ziff are congratulated for their 75 years of marriage by Doris Miles and James Murphy at University Village. "We're soul mates," said Irma. "I had never dated anyone before him; he didn't either." They've renewed their vows several times.

When Irma and Ray Ziff got married, gossip spread that it would never last.

The Ventura County couple have defied the odds, celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary by renewing their vows.

"We're soul mates," said Irma, 92. "I had never dated anyone before him; he didn't either."

Ray, 95, knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Irma the first time he saw her.

"She just looked like the kind of a gal I'd like to marry someday," he said.

As residents of University Village of Thousand Oaks, the couple celebrated their diamond wedding anniversary on March 28 at a ceremony with hundreds of fellow residents in attendance.

It wasn't the first time the Ziffs renewed their promise to stay together forever.

"On our 50th wedding anniversary we renewed our vows, and we've done it several times on cruises," Ray said. "We just keep the thing going."

The two met in 1929

Flash back to 1929, when the two first met in Los Angeles County.

Irma was 14 and Ray was 17 when Irma's family moved into the house across the street from the Ziff family in Altadena.

"When I was 17, I knew I wanted to marry her," recalled Ray, who was born in Sacramento. "She looked like a very attractive young lady. So we introduced ourselves and developed a very nice friendship over three years."

For their first date, Ray invited Irma to a high school play in nearby Pasadena.

"We were so young, neither of us had dated anyone else," recalled Irma, who was born in East Chicago, Ind.

They married in 1933, when Irma was 17 and Ray was 20, after relatives and friends said it would never last.

"That was just gossip among people because we were youngsters," Irma said.

The Ziffs spent their honeymoon in San Diego, where they visited the Agua Caliente race track in Tijuana, Mexico, and had a bit of good luck; their one bet — $2 to show — earned $2.10 when their horse came in.

Ever since they first exchanged vows, "there was never a time we wanted to give up on each other," Ray said. "We were always happy being together."

He recalls vividly what he said to Irma the night before their wedding: "I said to my wife that from tomorrow forward, we will never be separated and we will be together all our lives. That has been true."

Only a hospital can separate them

The only time they were ever apart was when one or the other had to have a temporary stay in a hospital.

Otherwise, "we've been together every day and every night. We have never vacationed away from each other and never gone off by ourselves," Ray said. "That has always remained true."

They believe their conviction lies in the role models they had growing up.

"My parents were married for 50 years, and Ray's parents married at least 50 years," Irma said. The Ziffs' children, 71-year-old Ronald and 64-year-old Nicole Glazer, also have strong marriages.

"There are no divorces in our family, thank God," said Irma, a grandmother of four and great-grandmother of nine.

What's their secret?

"We both agree on two things that are very important: patience and compromise," Ray said.

Irma added that they speak to each other the way they want to be spoken to in return.

"In other words, don't snap at each other," she said, "and don't be afraid to say you're sorry."

During an argument, "never, never, never storm out and don't go to bed angry," Irma continued. "Kiss and make up before you go to bed."

She views marriage as a job, "and you've got to want to do your job right. You have to work at it, just as much as you do for anything else."

Before they both retired in 1989, they worked in the supermarket business for Westward Ho, a chain of six stores on the west side of Los Angeles that eventually was bought out by Whole Foods or Bristol Farms.

Looking back on so many years of happiness, the couple understand why some might be envious.

"They have good reason to be jealous," Ray said. "Not too many people have that long of a marriage or even survive long enough to have a marriage that long."