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Tips for parents on how to let go
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Tips for parents having a hard time letting go of their college-age kids:
Send care packages. Those chocolate chip cookies might be a bit stale, but they'll taste great to a homesick freshman.
Ask your child how often he or she wants to communicate, whether by e-mail or phone. Resist the temptation to call every day.
Help your kid handle problems on his or her own. When he or she calls with a crisis, a good first question is "What steps have you taken so far to solve this?" Then "Who on campus could help you?"
Involve your child in finances. Work together on a budget for college.
Visit, but not too often.
Develop interests of your own, so you're less likely to get over-involved in your child's life.
Books that might be helpful:
"You're On Your Own (But I'm Here if You Need Me): Mentoring Your Child During the College Years," Marjorie Savage.
"Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years," Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger.
"Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years," Helen E. Johnson and Christine Schelhas-Miller.
"When Kids Go to College: Parent's Guide to Changing Relationships," Barbara M. Newman and Philip R. Newman.
Sources: Angela Naginey, director of student life, California Lutheran University; Jaimie Hoffman, coordinator of new student, orientation and transition programs, CSU Channel Islands.
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