It wasn't my proudest moment in college, but I was desperate. My final exam in literature was on "War and Peace" and I hadn't read the book, so I bought a copy of the Cliffs Notes and took my best shot.

For the record, I wasn't being lazy. I love to read and, over the years, I've read countless books, including several other Russian novels. But not "War and Peace," Tolstoy's classic. I tried and tried, I just couldn't get through it. I don't know why and, now, I'm not sure I care any more.

I've managed to work my way through some books I really hated — "Pride and Prejudice" comes to mind — but I finished them. And, in the years well, decades, since my graduation, I've gone back to "War and Peace" several times, and still have never finished it. And, just when I had decided to resign it to the dust bin of things that will never be, there has been a sudden resurgence of interest in Tolstoy's most famous work.

I had comfortably buried "War and Peace" in my subconscious, only resurfacing in, now, widely scattered nightmares, when an article in Newsweek magazine revealed that there are two new translations available. Perhaps, like me, you asked yourself, why?

Truthfully, I can't imagine. But the two translations are creating something of a stir because one is a translation of Tolstoy's first draft of the book, that was originally published in a magazine — a really thick magazine, I suspect. And the other, a translation of his revision, the one familiar to us today, that was published three years later.

One of the translators, Richard Pevear, quoted in Newsweek, answered the "why" question by saying, "Words have color, shade, tone, texture, rhythm, pacing, disposition, structure; they can quote, echo, parody other words; they can be unexpected, infinitely suggestive, mercurial; they can also beat and repeat like a drum. That is the nature of Tolstoy's artistic medium; his story' comes clothed in all these elements of style as he alone used them, and which alone create the impression he wanted to make."

As a writer, I'm unable to find any fault in that statement. That does not mean, however, that I have any intention of buying the book, let alone reading it. For one thing, according to Amazon.com, it's 1,296 pages long, weighs 3.8 pounds and costs $37. By comparison, the Verizon Yellow Pages for Camarillo is 1,232 pages, gets delivered right to your front porch and is easier to read.

Still, some things never change. Amazon also sells Cliffs Notes for "War and Peace." It sells for only $5.99, has 120 pages and includes a biography of Tolstoy, analyses of the major characters and review questions.

I kept my college copy of "War and Peace" for many years. In fact, it may still be out in the garage, gathering dust if not clarity. I went back to it from time to time after I graduated, but a couple hundred pages was all I could ever manage. Every time I tried, though, I thumbed through the entire book, reading the notes I had made in the margins.

The professor had told us we could bring the book to the exam, and that we could make notes in the margins, so I wasn't cheating except, of course, that I hadn't actually read the book.

I'm only guessing, but I don't think the new translation would have helped. The Cliffs Notes, however, did. I got a "B." Please don't tell my kids. Or my dad.

— Contact Star columnist Bill Nash at bnash805@aol.com.